And now?
by Hinata1313
Summary: Sakura had kind of a hard time... will Sasuke return or not? And if, what then? Too many questions in her head with an answer pretty simple, right?
1. Chapter 1

And here I go again... This story is linked up with two of my other stories (Long way and New start). I hope that'll explain some (maybe upcoming) questions. If you haven't read them before it's not a big deal, because all necessary things will explain themselves during the story. Those who really wonder about the thing with Kakashi should really read New start. I have a sequel written for this story as well and I will post it too, because it's already finished. Well, actually I'm pretty happy that so many of you read my Naru/Hina story and liked it. THANKS A LOT!

I DO NOT OWN Naruto! It's all Kishimoto-sensei's.

So, please enjoy (like I wish always) and please leave reviews (like I always beg you :3)

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Sakura sighed as she walked up to the Hokage-tower. Honestly she felt horrible, and didn't want to leave the village. She had told Ino about that bad feeling, though she couldn't explain why she had it at all. Her friend suggested that it's maybe because of the upcoming marriage, that it's a sort of jealousy, but Sakura just had laughed. No, she wasn't jealous, definitely not. She was happy for them, all four of them, honestly, but although she was positive about that she couldn't explain why she felt like that.

As she walked up the corridor she bumped into someone, quickly murmuring some apologises.  
"You should look where you're walking." She heard an amused voice.  
"Oh, it's you." She said, trying to force herself to smile. "Hi Kakashi-sensei, long time no see."  
"No wonder, you bury yourself in work."  
"I'm always kind of busy…" she said, rubbing the back of her head.  
"Means you busy yourself." He said, looking down on her with a raised brow.  
"Kakashi-sensei…" she started, feeling uncomfortable because he knew her too well.  
"No I haven't anything better to do, just if that was what you were about to ask." He chuckled.  
"Everyone is on mission." He laughed.  
"I was afraid you'd say that." She mumbled. "Are you on your way to Naruto too?"  
"Yeah." He nodded.  
"I hope it's nothing about the wedding again…"  
"Touchy, huh?"  
"Give it a rest." She grumbled, knocking at the office-door.

As they had entered they found Naruto behind his desk, deeply lost in a scroll in front of him. Kakashi thought that he really looked like his father now; only the hair was a little different.  
"You wanted to talk to us?" Sakura asked, looking curious. His head shot up, dragged out of his thoughts he blinked twice before he finally got what was going on.  
"Sakura-chan! Kakashi-sensei!" he grinned widely.  
"Since you're the Rokudaime now, you shouldn't call me sensei, don't you think?"  
"I'm used to it… blame me." He laughed. "I knew that you wanted to rest a little, now that you have the chance to, but I need you to do a mission." He explained him.  
"And I want you to join on this mission too, Sakura-chan."  
"But Naruto, I have loads to do. I've promised Hinata to help her in the garden and stuff and…"  
"Hina-chan said the garden is quite wonderful, so you don't need to work in there. Ino told me that you rarely leave your office, and you've nearly always finished your work just a few minutes after one dropped it on your desk. Now you're the one who overdoes it. You haven't seen the sun for quite a while now."  
"Naruto…" she sighed, feeling even more uncomfortable now.  
"Sakura-chan, you need to do something else then your paperwork, you…"  
"Naruto, please give it a rest." Kakashi interrupted him. "You wanted to give us some information…"  
"Ah, yes! Now, where have I put it?" he looked through the scrolls on his desk.  
_'I owe you one' _Sakura mouthed to her former sensei, who just winked and smiled.

"Ah! Here it is! I knew I just had it in my hands!" he grinned like always, handing Kakashi over the scroll.  
"A few farmer, if I remember the right numbers it has to be five families, asked for support."  
"Should we help them harvesting or what?" Sakura asked.  
"Nope. They wrote that they've been attacked from thieves. Some may say that's normal if you live that far away from villages, but I think they need help. I want you to look if you can take care of that bunch of idiots. Some got hurt, but as far as I know no one had died, and I hope it'll stay this way."  
"Why us?" Sakura grumbled under her breath.  
"Because I count you to the best and I think that you can do this in four weeks. The rest would take longer."  
"Thanks for the flowers." She mumbled again. "When do you want us to leave?"  
"Yesterday." He grinned. "Honestly, as soon as possible. Get your things packed and leave. I want you to return as quickly as possible. You know we need you…"  
"Yeah, I know. Hinata-chan already told me five times. Well then, let's get going, Kakashi-sensei."

She went home and packed her backpack. Normally she would've been glad to be sent on a mission again, since her walls seem to come closer every minute she sat at home. The picture of team seven standing scoffing in the bookshelf, remembering her again that he still wasn't home. Naruto told her that he had promised him he'd come home soon, but what could she believe? He left, he had chosen to be alone, and he was the one who went this way. She sighed, she always pretended that she didn't need him anymore, she tried to forget him but she couldn't. Seeing all her friends settling down in a way while she was the only one who still was alone. She sighed again and left her small apartment. She moved out from her parents' home as she was seventeen, since her mother had started complaining about her coming home and leaving hours after midnight.

At the main gate she stopped, inwardly prepared to wait for her old sensei at least three hours, but after a few minutes he patted her on the shoulder, nearly making her jump.  
"Can we go?" he asked her.  
"You're early." She stated bluntly.  
"Well, that's something I haven't heard quite a while." He chuckled. "You seem in your thoughts."  
"Honestly I'm sort of stuck in them." She said, knowing it won't be of any use if she tried to lie to him.  
"No need to tell me." He said grinning.  
"Yeah, I know. As always, ne, Kakashi-sensei?"  
"E… so desu." He answered. "But slowly we all worry about you."  
"Worry? About me? Why?"  
"Well, you drown yourself in work, you rarely leave your office, and you rarely meet with your friends…"  
"How will you tell?" she stated pouting.  
"Because we were all used to a giggling bunch of girls who met once a week and chatted the whole day. And since a few days, now better weeks, you were nowhere to be seen."  
She remained silent.  
"You've talked to Ino about that." He reasoned and she nodded silently.  
"Maybe you should've talked to Tenten…"  
"Surely." she stated, sarcastically. "And then everything would be ok or what?"  
"I never said that." He said surprised over her outburst.  
"Sumimasen, Kakashi-sensei." She mumbled. "I didn't mean to snub you."  
"Ah, I shouldn't have asked you."  
"I haven't recognised that that gets the most people around me down." She mumbled, walking a little faster.

The whole day Sakura felt like being watched, but wasn't able to find someone or something, and since Kakashi seemed so relaxed she tried to didn't bother as well. But as they stopped for the night he asked her:  
"So, what's up then? Still about Sasuke?"  
"It always has to be about Sasuke, huh?"  
"It would be strange if it wouldn't."  
"Yeah, yeah! SEE! And that's the friggin problem!" she burst out. "I was so obsessed that no one looks at me as the person I am, they only see that stupid fan girl I was used to be."  
"If you ask me you're miles away from being a 'stupid fan girl'. By the way, you haven't mentioned his name for months around us."  
"Yeah, because I try to get rid of him."  
"But why? He's one of our teammates…"  
"He left us!"  
"You mean he left you." He stated bluntly, waiting for another outburst, but it didn't come. The only thing that follows were tears. Simple tears and she hadn't cried for ages.  
"Ino said that it's just jealousy. Hello? Jealousy! Fuck, I'm not jealous. Actually, I'm happy for them, really happy."

"So, where's the problem?"  
"That's what I asked too." She said sighing.  
"But you act strange, and that's a fact. It doesn't need much to see that in your I-lock-myself-up-in-my-office-manner."  
"It's just that they remind me how lonely I am."  
"That's a reason."  
"Yeah, that's simply it. I feel needless. I hate being at home, in my little stinky apartment. The walls seem to come closer, the picture looks scoffing at me…"  
"You could've stayed at your parents'…"  
"Yes, and go insane in no time." She grumbled. "My mother started making trouble about my arriving and leaving times. That freaked me out, but the silence now…"  
"I know that pretty well…" he mumbled.  
"Sorry, I forgot."  
"Hmm, I was used to that feelings… but things gladly have changed."

"If you said you've peace in your house… Honoka is gone?"  
"Yeah, A-ranked. And she's quite happy about that."  
"But if she's gone and you're here, who's taking care of Kichiro and Kimiko?"  
"Iruka."  
"E… stupid me. I should've known." She said, smacking herself on the forehead.  
"Well, at least I hope he can stand them."  
"Oy, I don't think that they're that hard to take care for."  
"Because you only see them for a few hours, not the whole day."  
"You know that doesn't sound so lovely…" she said sighing.  
"I know, but without them life would be so silent…"  
"Are you missing the silence?"  
"Hell no!" he said. "Never ever! Actually I'm pretty happy with the situation right now."  
"Yeah, sure you are! With poor Iruka-sensei near a nervous-breakdown." She grinned.  
"Actually I don't think that you're not feeling well."  
"Sorry."

"No it's ok. Honoka freaked out half a year ago because she said I'm only mocking about them. Actually that's not my intension; we're just kidding a lot. It's just… strange to play my part… I only want them to have a happy childhood, not such a messed up like Honoka's and mine."  
"Naw, I don't think they will. They're sooo lovely, all of us love them."  
"I was afraid you'd say that."  
"Come on, Kakashi-sensei! You just feel uncomfortable with the thought Honoka-chan might tell us something about you." She grinned.  
"I don't think she had told you anything I didn't want to tell you sooner or later…"  
"As far as I know you it'll be 'later', means 'nearly to never'."  
"Now that's unfair Sakura."  
"But that's the way it is! Many had a sad past, Naruto growing up completely alone without even knowing his parents names, Sasuke-kun with his family got murdered…"  
"That's nothing like that." He stated silently. "None of you knows what it means carrying around such guilt like I do."  
"Yeah, sure. Maybe it's just you who thinks he's guilty."

"So she had talked to you?"  
"Not the way you may think. I've asked her some questions, after Tsunade-shisho had told me a little. She only answered some questions, but the main-answer was 'go ask himself'."  
"I knew it." He grinned under his mask.  
"Liar! You hoped it!" she shot back. "You just want to keep so many things secret from us because you don't want us to see you as the human you are! And you know what? That fails! Really, I mean, just seeing you with those two 'little monsters' shows that you're nothing near heartless."  
"Don't say I haven't told you anything!"  
"Nope, that would be a lie. The first day you told us your name, at least, that have been two words. Wow, really much!"  
"Sakura that's unfair. What about the fact that Naruto's father was my sensei?"  
"Surely, like you would've ever told us! Naruto was the one who confronted you, you just answered because you stood with your back against a wall."  
"Maybe I'll let you in on more later. I don't want to tell stories twice."  
"What do you mean with later?"  
"When squad 7 is back to former strength, when Sasuke is back."  
"That means never." Her face went emotionless again.

"You could've asked Tsunade, she knew." He mumbled.  
"I did, but she respects you and your privacy, so she only said that it was sad and hard. If there's one to tell, it has to be you."  
"Then she already told you enough."  
"If you think so." She said. "Trust in ones friends is something important." She yawned.  
"You're the one to talk. You already suffer enough under your situation, so you shouldn't worry about that too much, since my life is pretty fine."  
"I know." She sighed, and then looked around again.  
"Feeling watched?" he asked her with a raised brow and she nodded. "Me too, but I couldn't sense or smell anyone."  
"Maybe I'm just hunting ghosts, like so often."  
"Who said that?"  
"I guess it was Shino who mumbled something like that."  
"Really?"  
"Hmm." She nodded.

"You always give up too easy." He stated with a look down on her. "Sometimes a little optimism like Naruto's would be good for you."  
"I know, but it's not as easy as everyone thinks it is, due to the fact that there went enough wrong during the years."  
"What? You're Jonin after all, are already a better medic then Tsunade and your skills are still improving, so what do you think went wrong? I thought lots about Sasuke and his leaving, but by now I'm pretty sure that there was no opportunity for us to make him stay. We weren't able to convince him, none of us."  
"Maybe we should've been there more…"  
"But everyone is telling me that I shouldn't reproach…" he mumbled.  
"I know, I know." She sighed. "But those thoughts went through my head again and again. The last weeks I tried to block them out as good as possible."  
"Failed?"  
"You have to ask?"  
"Nope."  
"See…" she yawned. "Lee said that I maybe should let go, before I kill myself with that. Even Ino told me so…"  
"But wasn't it you who told me that you don't give a damn on what she says two weeks ago?"  
"Possible…" she smiled a little. "Sometimes I think they're right."

"So, why don't you do it?"  
"Because I have the feeling that it would be wrong. Naruto keeps telling me that he'll come back, but slowly I'm starting to doubt that. A part of me wants him back and the other part wants him to jump in a lake. Strange, huh?"  
"Hmm… I don't think so." He mumbled.  
"Kakashi-sensei…" she started after a while.  
"What is it?"  
"Do you believe he'll come back?"  
"What should I say?" he asked her back. "I told him that there would be nothing but emptiness when he kills Itachi, you talked to him, and Naruto over and over again, on each mission, as far as I know. He knows that Konoha is his home and that we still would welcome him back, Naruto is his brother-like friend and even the rest somehow is waiting. But to tell the truth, I never thought he would leave us at all, so don't expect any guesses from my stance."  
He looked into her sad face and tried to cheer her up.  
"I've learned one thing from Naruto; always expect what you don't expect. Honoka showed me that as well, so maybe you should trust a little more. Where's the Sakura gone who always had faith in Sasuke and his actions?"  
"That Sakura stayed where he had left her." she mumbled back.  
"Sakura, you're no kid anymore, and normally we should stop worrying about you, but Tsunade thinks the same like Honoka, like Iruka, like me, you don't do yourself any good with that. You were used to be a girl who laughed lots, you were such a lively person, but now… you're going to kill yourself with _that_."


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is mostly about what is going on in 'my' Naruto-world. (- I know that sounds crazy, but how else should I explain?) It's un-beta-ed like all my stories, so please feel free to tell me if I made any BIG mistakes. Hopefully you enjoy what you read and leave me some reviews.

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Sakura knew he was right. Kakashi was mostly right. She tried to act normal and go on with life like nothing had happened, but that's impossible. Sasuke was still present; everywhere she went, because no one allowed him to become forgotten. Ino reminded her pretty often at him, mostly if she wanted to tease Shikamaru and Naruto was talking about him too, usually at times when Sai annoyed him again. She tried to see the bastard in him Naruto was used to call him, sometimes she was able to do it, but it's impossible to keep up.  
Kakashi had relaxed a little, so she knew that it was her turn for the first watch. She stared into nowhere, tried to empty her mind, but she couldn't. That they were worried wasn't news for her, Hinata had told her quite often, even Tenten did, but talking with them about her problem wasn't an option. In many ways she was happy that Honoka was there. She was a good listener and she never blamed her for what she said or felt. At the beginning Ino was right, Sakura really was jealous, but that changed with the time. She sighed and put the thoughts about the whole thing aside, watch was her turn and she didn't want to fail at that little task.  
As she became tired she nudged her former sensei's shoulder to wake him up and leant herself against the tree trunk next to her and it took her only a few minutes until she fell asleep.

Kakashi sighed inwardly as he looked at his former student. Honoka had reproved him not to treat her like a little kid but it was harder than he had expected. She had dark bags under her eyes, her skin was pale and she looked some years older as she really was and became pretty nervous with the time. They all just noticed it three months ago, but he would bet that she hid that all for over months now. The first three years after Sasuke had left she was full of enthusiasm and trained like crazy but the longer it took him, and the fact that all of them were off age now – means over twenty – showed clearly that he was late; the harder it became for her to keep up her hopes of his return. Naruto always told her that Sasuke will come back but actually he himself couldn't hear this speech anymore.

Inwardly he sighed again. He really wished that he could give Sakura hope again, but he started doubting that the Uchiha ever planned in coming back. The raven haired had shown so many strange things over the years, that it wouldn't shock him to find out about something new. They all were used to the fact that he had tried many times to kill Naruto, two times aimed at Sakura, he had planned the utterly destruction of leaf with Akatsuki, so there was nothing left that could shock them at all. Naruto had kicked his butt pretty hard the last time they fought – that was three years ago – and he barely escaped, it seemed that the blonde had beaten some sense into him back then. Sasuke had never realized that Konoha was standing that close together, and somehow he seemed surprised as he saw that the shinobi he was used to see in the front lines now were standing a little behind. Those who were in the academy with him now were the main actors.  
Again he had the feeling that there was someone around, but like the whole day before he couldn't see or smell someone. 'Maybe just a foreboding feeling.' He thought. Since Kichiro and Kimiko were there he was used to that kind of feelings.

Sakura sighed and he looked at her, she was awake.  
"Shouldn't you try to sleep?" he asked her.  
"If it would be that easy…"  
"You're slowly developing insomnia."  
"I know." She yawned. "But I'm somehow unable to sleep."  
"Nightmares?"  
"Sometimes."  
"Should I…?"  
"No." she said quickly. "The last time you helped me with that Sharingan of yours I had trouble with waking up."  
"I was just thinking…" he mumbled.  
"I know sensei, and thanks for your concern, but that's not necessary." She yawned again.  
"You should do something against that problem."  
"I know. Naruto said he's going to send me on holidays after the wedding."  
"Sounds like a good idea."  
"Hn."  
"You don't seem so happy about that." He chuckled.

"You weren't happy about your last holidays either."  
"You call _**that**_ holidays? Rubeolas are everything else but 'holidays'."  
"You didn't have them." she grinned.  
"But I was in quarantine, and that was hell, not holiday." He stated sarcastically.  
"You could've infected half of the village, so we took care…"  
"Yeah yeah." He mumbled. "Sometimes you're good at papering over the cracks."  
"Straight hit." She grumbled. "1:0 for you."  
"We're not playing. But I think Naruto is right in sending you away. You really need to get your head free."  
"To say it again: I know."  
He didn't reply, he knew her too well and that the discussion would go on and on. Inwardly he sighed again, cursing Honoka for inoculating him to treat Sakura like the adult she was. Well, actually she didn't act like a grown up at all, but he won't change that so he capitulated. This time he sighed audible.

"What's up?" she asked him.  
"Nothing." He mumbled.  
"Sure."  
"You don't want to hear that, so give it a rest."  
"What?"  
"Honoka told me to treat you like an adult, over and over again she told me, but you act so not adult."  
"You think so?"  
"Definitely. You know how you remind me?"  
"No…"  
"Kimiko acts the same when she doesn't want to go to bed." He grinned. "Always refusing to accept the obvious."  
"I'm really acting like a little kid, huh?" she asked silently.  
"Sort of." He stated. Now it was Sakura who sighed audible.

"Fact is that I'm really fed up with that all. I'm fed up with waiting. I don't give a damn about his reasons, I see that completely egoistic. I want him back. All those years he caused nothing but trouble, he attacked, he destroyed, he hurt, over and over again; and I don't talk about myself here. I'm fed up with his lame excuses, even lamer than yours you used to give us for being late, but fact is as well, I'm not sure if I want him anymore."  
"Feeling better now?" he asked her with a raised brow, humour in his voice.  
"Only puking is more fun..." She mumbled.  
"Your sarcasm could need a little starting up, you know." He grinned.  
"I'll try to remember." She shot back and stuck out her tongue.  
"I see that as a promise and I think I guess right if I say that sleep is done for this night?"  
"Right as always, sensei." She yawned and stood up.  
"Yosh, then we can continue our way as well instead of sitting around stupidly."

And that's what they did. Honestly he would prefer a normal night's sleep, something quite rarely as he found out, but he wanted to finish the mission quickly too. Iruka would kill him if he took too long. One look at Sakura was enough to find out that she would be happier if those weddings would be over. First Naruto's, then Neji's. Must be a harder torture for her than Ibiki would be able to set up. The next two hours they walked on in complete silence, not that it would be uncomfortable, they were used to something like that by now.

Sasuke. That was the constantly returning problem in the last years; source of arguments, sadness and anger. Since quite a while now Naruto was refusing to talk about him, so Sakura silenced about that topic as well. The rest never liked to talk about him that much, since they rarely have seen another side than the cold and egoistic one. Shikamaru said once that he never would call him friend, fellow shinobi, team-member if forced, but as he said "he's clearly not my problem". Somehow it seems that Sasuke Uchiha had become something like a synonym for sadness. The Uchiha district was still like he had left it, only the garden of his family's house was made, in silence and without anyone knowing, from Sakura.

It took them one day longer to reach the little colony which had asked for help. The first impression was "EW" like Sakura audibly let slip out and a raised brow from the copy Nin. It definitely looked shabby and the people didn't seem like they would be able to pay for the hired help.  
"If you ask me it seems more like they are the ones who…"  
"Hn." He made and made something that looked like a curt nod.  
"Ne, sensei… I'd say I'd prefer sleeping in the woods…"  
"Let's talk to them first, then we can decide what we're going to do."

She just nodded, it was somehow clear for her that he felt exactly the same. She stayed where she was while he leaped down from the branch they were crouching on. Sakura watched him walking up to the few people who were working on a field and smiled. Kakashi was sure someone special. As the Uchiha had left he had started to train seriously again too, and since Honoka was there he completely changed. First it was something that went on slightly, Ino once said it's like an infection, but then it became recognisable for everyone. He started to put aside the lame excuses, he laughed more often, the painful look he sometimes had in his eye was gone and to crown that all and shock everyone he started to be on time for meetings.

But the biggest change was something only a few figured out, his icy barrier had melted away. Naruto and she were one of the few who see the true one behind that all; the way he acts at home with his kids. Sure, Kimiko and Kichiro could be a pain in the ass, Ino had the pleasure to find out herself, but most of the time they're just lovely. Well, right now it was 'Mission-Kakashi' like Honoka called that. Sakura had to fight back a giggle as she thought about that and watched the people carefully while he spoke with them. A short time later he gave a sign and faster than an eye-blink she landed next to him.

"How's your first impression?" Sakura asked him while they were walking up to the houses.  
"Hmm, good question. But like you said…"  
"I don't trust them." she said slightly frowning. "They don't look like the poor people we have seen in Nami-no-kuni or other lands."  
"That's one point." He stated.  
"I mean, just look at them. Poor people who live from hand to mouth look like Honoka had looked as you found her: thin, ill, exhausted… but they, they look like they're pretty well-fed and only wrong dressed."  
"Yeah." He nodded. "And the way they talk, you should've heard that. Snotty at its finest."  
"Really?"  
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"  
"Sorry that I've asked." She stated grinning.  
"That leads us back to your first wish, we stay away as far as possible and as near as necessary."  
"I was afraid that it would go like that, but what has to be…"

They sat down at the corner of a field and watched the ongoing work.  
"Do you think they're shinobi?"  
"Two of them definitely." He answered. "With the rest I'm not sure yet, but I'll find out."  
"Man, I thought we should do something easy…" she sighed.  
"Who said it's going to be hard?"  
"Who said it's not?" she shot back.  
"Did I get that right? You're actually feeling better?" he teased.  
"A little."  
"Why were you grinning as you showed up?"  
"I thought about something funny."  
"Mostly that's the reason for grinning." He rolled his visible eye.  
"I thought about how Kichiro and Kimiko have 'brushed up' Ino."  
"Hmm. I think it's better for me not to ask how you get on that thought." He stated, but she could clearly heart the amusement in his voice.

He was also a little proud that the two pranksters made such a good escape from a more than pissed Yamanaka. Shikamaru had nearly laughed his butt off as he saw his girlfriend running after two loudly laughing kids, who really had done a good job with Ino's make-up-box. Honestly, it looked more like she had fallen in there accidentally, but it was definitely funny. Until the blonde found out that he was laughing, then he was the hunted one, but Shikamaru isn't known as the master-runaway for nothing. The only one who never has any problems with those two is Naruto. It took Sakura a while to find out why, but Kimiko loves talking with her so she got it after all. Honoka had told them that he has no parents, and that simply was the point. The blonde loves to play with them and sometimes practises jutsu with them, what's another reason for them to like him. His kage bunshin-no-jutsu is a big help as well, taking care of them with a clone watching each of them is a good thing.

They knew that they're going to the academy when the new school-year starts, so they acted like crazy the last weeks. No wonder Honoka was glad to have an A-ranked mission, the chance of surviving are much bigger and Kakashi was quite glad to 'flee' as well. Iruka always knows how to handle them, thanks to Narutos actions in his childhood he knew how 'to push the buttons'. Sakura really hoped that they won't strain the poor Chunin too much. Honoka had asked him if he wanted to be their godfather and he happily accepted. He was second to Naruto when it comes to deal with them. Their parents have no problems either, since both of them really behave at home, but the villagers who fell victim to their pranks were their problem.

"I hope the village still exists when we go back home." He mumbled after a while.  
"I think so. Iruka had promised to teach them some 'new stuff' and normally they're hooked then."  
"Guess what Honoka said before she left."  
"What?"  
"We really can count ourselves lucky that the Kekkei Genkai awakens at the seventh year of life, and not earlier."  
"And she really is right." Sakura laughed.  
"Have you seen that?" he asked with a curt nod in the direction of the so called 'farmers'.  
"Yeah, swift but not swift enough. Definitely shinobi."  
"But we can handle that, do we?"  
"Sure, why do you ask?"  
"Your last fighting is a while back…"  
"You'll see." She stated. "But today they won't do anything stupid."  
"Why do you think so?"  
"I'd bet that they haven't expected the famous copy Nin being part of this mission. They have to think about something to get rid of you."  
"That doesn't sound pretty nice you know." He chuckled. "But you're right, I'm really a pest."  
Sakura rolled her eyes and shook smiling her head.  
"I think this mission is going to be something completely different to what we've done before." She stated, and both knew that she was right.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning the weather changed and dark grey clouds were slowly drifting from the horizon up towards them. The mood of both of them wasn't the very best, during the night it had rained and their stuff was damp. Sakura was swearing under her breath the whole morning and even Kakashi was hackled up a bit. The people around them were acting quite normal, if you could call it like that.  
"Ne, Sensei…?" Sakura asked him after a while.  
"What?"  
"I was just wondering… have you seen any women or children around here?"  
"Not on the fields. But I saw some up at the houses."  
"Ok." She looked still curious, and he could understand it pretty well. This mission truly was different. It smelled like ambush since they had arrived, and somehow it felt like that feeling gets stronger with every minute they stayed.

"Could you please lend us a hand?" one of the farmers called out. They were working at the edge of one field, digging out some bushes. Sakura had no problem with helping, but Kakashi wasn't happy about that. She grinned, she knew that he hated doing things like that. In fights it was easy to avoid getting hurt, but little bruises were normal if you dig something in or out. And of course they left the thorn bushes for them. Sometimes one heard a silent 'ouch' from Sakura and silent swearing from the copy Nin, already wishing he hadn't shown up in Narutos office. He'd prefer babysitting, definitely.  
Later that day they were sitting on a branch again, watching them continuing their work.  
"That would hack me off." Sakura stated.  
"What?"  
"I mean acting under-cover is ok, but such a job would kill me."  
"Hmm." He nodded and started absent minded scratching his arm. Sakura did the same. She had worn her gloves while digging and put them away as they were finished.  
"Look at this, even through the gloves…" she mumbled as she looked at her hands. Her hands were covered with little red spots. Kakashi had put his gloves aside as well, now looking at his hands too.  
"They're itching like hell." He grumbled.  
"You should stop scratching, that only makes it worse."  
"And what should I do then?"  
"Sit on your hands if you have to." She grinned, looking her backpack through for some ointment to stop the itching.  
"Here." She said, handing him over the pot she found.  
"Thanks." He said, putting a little on his hands and sighed as the itching faded. "That was necessary."  
"I know." She winked.

The next two days were quite normal, they were watching them working and nothing special happened. Well, nothing obviously special. As Sakura got up in the morning her muscles were sore and ached and as she looked over to Kakashi she guessed he had the same problem.  
"You don't feel well too?" she asked.  
"Feels like an elephant marched over me." He answered.  
"E… so desu." She stated.  
During the day that all get worse, she developed a headache while Kakashi was sick a short time after they had talked about dinner.  
"Have we caught a virus or something?" he asked a little weakly a while later.  
"I don't think so…" Sakura mumbled. "But let's look." She went over to him to examine him.  
"No virus." She answered, but something in her voice made him wonder.  


"But?"  
"I'm not sure, could be a poison."  
"Could be?"  
"I'm not sure, I haven't felt something like that before."  
"But where… wait, from the bushes!"  
"Would be the reason why they strictly avoided contact." She mused. "But I know that kind of plant, and they're not poisonous."  
"Than they added it."  
"Hmm, I guess you're right. If I want to make an antidote I have to identify it, and they burned them all."  
"Oh man, great. Brought down through a poisoned bush, I guess they're laughing their asses off."

Sakura sat there, trying to ignore her throbbing head, thinking. And it dawned her after a short moment.  
"Give me your gloves." She ordered him and he did as she said. She pulled out her own and looked them through, finding some thorns in them. Triumphant she took one of her scrolls to identify the ingredients of the poison.  
"And?" he asked after a while.  
"Figured it out. We have to look for some herbs. I've seen them in the forest as we came here."  
"I'll leave some clones…" he said, performing the jutsu and then forcing himself to get up.  
"Man…" he grumbled. "I never thought that it could be that painful just to stand up."  
"That's the neurotoxin."  
"But why haven't we recognised earlier?"  
"One ingredient worked like a sedative, it blocked the nerves which tell us the pain, so it had enough time to work… if we would've waited it would've been impossible for us to move."  
"So, now we found out how they wanted to get rid of us." He stated sarcastically.  
"I don't know if it really would kill us, but we would be easy to fight; more victims like opponents."

She found the herbs she needed pretty fast, for their speed of moving. She took some in her hands and rolled them together to little balls, handing one of them over to Kakashi.  
"Here. Chew it a while before you swallow it. It's bitter, don't be surprised." She warned him.  
"As long as it stops that all…" he mumbled, starting to chew and grimaced.

Just as Sakura took the last herbs she needed they heard a rumbling sound and within an eye-blink they were trapped. An earth-style jutsu, something similar to what Jirobo had used against the group which headed after Sasuke, had trapped them.  
"Oh fine, easily trapped." The copy Nin grumbled.  
"In our actual situation no wonder." Sakura replied.  
"At least they have reached what they wanted, in a way."  
"Not just yet." She said, taking two bigger stones and the herbs.  
"And now?"  
"I'm preparing the antidote. A little bit simple, because I don't have everything I'd normally use, but it'll work. I could need some water…"  
"Hmm." He nodded, performing a water-based jutsu.  
"Thanks! That's enough!" she said, finishing her work with a little fire jutsu. "That was the fast way."  
"We should think about something to get out, this thing is going to suck us dry."  


"I know, I can feel it." She replied. "But first the antidote."  
"If I have to take anything bitter the next time again…" he grumbled, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"Now we have to think how we can get out." Sakura said after swallowing the herbs-pulp.  
"Ha! Getting out? Don't make me laugh!" they heard a voice from outside.  
"There's no chance for you two to get out! The more force you use to get out the faster it'll suck you dry."  
"And why, if we may ask?" Sakura called out.  
"Because your fucking Rokudaime had caused us some trouble, we're going to pay him back! If that bastard doesn't pay us the money we want him to, we'll send you back home in pieces!"  
"You really think you can get us with that? That's too cheap." Kakashi called.  
"Oh, but I guess he'll buy it." The voice laughed. "And to know that we have Konohas best in there, copy cat, makes it an even bigger victory for us!"  
"I won't be so sure if I were you!" Sakura burst out.  
"Oy little lady, like I care! Fact is, you're trapped, you'll be soon out of chakra and you're poisoned. I guess that's reason enough for us to celebrate."

"At least he's right with the first two." Sakura snorted.  
"Can't you destroy that with one hit?"  
"If I'd be strong enough… but thanks to that poison I'm too weak already."  
"Oh man…" he sighed.

They were sitting in a trap, with clearly no chance to escape. Sakura cursed inwardly like hell, she had her Hyorogan left in her backpack. Some of the chips Choji was munching the whole time would be quite useful right now too.  
The ones who trapped them were some missing-nin from Konoha and Kusa. They were waiting how long it'll take until both of their hostages fell unconscious. It was already night, they were tired and really bored. Some were already sleeping. Sakura and Kakashi fought with themselves to stay awake and the two shinobi who had to keep the jutsu up were already complaining about their stubbornness. It was pretty short before Sakura gave up that she heard a rumbling noise outside, some of the men were shouting – shouting, not screaming – and then their earthy cage broke apart. It was that little moment before she passed out that she saw a figure standing in the forest, and then her world went dark.

A rustling noise and a groan woke her up, her muscles still felt a little sore, so it wasn't a fluid movement as she sat up. Kakashi was already sitting upright, but he winced a little.  
"Seemed like someone had a heart for us." He mumbled.  
"You've seen that as well?"  
"What?"  
"I saw someone standing over there… before I passed out…"  
"Nope, I haven't. But it's obvious that it wasn't one of them." he said, pointing around, and sure he was right.

Two of them were obviously dead, and it didn't look like they had been on Konohas side some when before. The rest was knocked out and tied up so they won't be able to do anything in case they woke up. But that wasn't the only evidence, their backpacks were lying next to them, someone had to have brought them over.  
"I'm sure I haven't imagined that." Sakura stated stubborn.  
"I haven't doubted it, I only said that I haven't seen anyone."  
"Right…" she mumbled. "Let's send Naruto a message and let other ones take care of that bunch."  
"Actually that was what I was up to."  
"Like always I'm thinking and acting ways too slow for you, ne, sensei?" she said sarcastically.  
"Please don't start that again Sakura, would you?"  
"I won't." she grumbled, rummaging in her bag for the Hyorogan and finally handing him over one of the little pills. The moment she swallowed hers she felt better and stood up.

With a summoning-scroll Kakashi had called a messenger-hawk and tied a note to his feet.  
"Let's look up to the houses. Maybe there are others left." She stated and was already on her way.  
"Would have been the next I'd suggested." He said, following her up to the little colony.  
As they looked through the houses they found traces that there have been other people, normal civilians and both instantly hoped that they hadn't been killed. To her relief he smelled something and together with his nin-ken he was able to locate and free them. After Sakura had checked the health-state of everyone and gladly found that they're all ok she relaxed a little. The reply-message from Naruto came that evening and promised them that an ANBU-squad was taking care of the trouble-makers. They were put under steady watch of Kakashi's dogs and didn't dare to move since Bull really looked pissed.

Sakura wasn't so sure about what she had seen anymore. But it was definitely more than a shadow, that was sure. What irritated was the fact that none of them, not even Kakashi with his ways beyond human ability sense of smelling, could find any trace of the one who had helped. And that someone had helped was more than obvious.  
The cleaning-unit Naruto had sent arrived the next morning and as the last crow had gone Sakura sighed and grabbed her stuff, somehow glad to go home again. She could feel that Kakashi was looking forward to being home again too and grinned inwardly. It was good that she was able to talk to him a little, she knew that he really understood her. But her good mood faded as soon as they reached the main gate and after she had reported to Naruto and brought the new-found poison and antidote to the medic-library she disappeared from every ones view, probably hiding herself in her office again.

* * *

It's hurting Sakura to be at home again, but she longed for it as well... strange situation. Maybe she needs that holiday Naruto wanted to send her to harder than she admitted.

The next chapter will be somewhat next to a filler, please don't blame me for that, but it's important to me to write it. Later on in the story - I hope - you'll understand why.


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is a little longer than the first ones and it's mostly about Kakashi, explaining a little about his background. I hope it's not boring. I know that this is a Saku/Sasu fic and I'm getting to that, but that needs a little work before that, please forgive me for that. Still I hope you like my story, though I haven't gotten any reviews...  
Hope dies at last... so please enjoy.

* * *

As he opened the door of his house he could smell the faint scent of blood and a cold shiver rushed down his spine. He slowly entered the house and just as he had closed the door behind himself they attacked him loudly screaming.  
"What have you two done now?" he asked, looking sternly at them.  
"Nothing." Kichiro pouted. "Why do you always guess that?"  
"Yeah! Why? That's not fair dad!" Kimiko burst out, looking just as offended as her twin-brother.  
"Because it became quite a habit of you two the last weeks." He stated, eyeing them suspicious.  
"If you asked because the faint scent, that's not our fault." His daughter looked up at him, with exactly the same wonderful lavender eyes like her mother.  
"Yeah, mom just arrived… she wasn't in hospital yet since Sakura-nee-chan wasn't there." Kichiro stated with the matter-of-fact voice he usually heard from his father.  
"And why are you two here already? Shouldn't you stay with Iruka-sensei?"  
"Yeah, we were supposed to, but we bumped into mum when she arrived…"  
"I see…" he mumbled, reaching out for them and grabbing them. He completely caught them off guard and laughed as he hugged them tightly.  
"I hope you two behaved?" he asked them.  
"Come on dad! Trust us a little!" his son complained grabbing his mask and pulling it down.  
"You know that we don't do anything stupid when we're with Iruka-sensei!" Kimiko complained and kissed him on the cheek grinning.

"I have to defend them." he heard Honokas calm voice. "They really were good." She was leaning against the door frame of the kitchen door. She looked tired and he sighed as he walked over to her, kissing her and then both chuckled because of the "Ew!"'s of their kids.  
"Dad, would you mind letting us down?" Kichiro asked.  
"Why?"  
"Well, I'd guess you and mom want some time without us… Kimiko and I'll go out in the garden. Iruka-sensei taught us a new jutsu."  
"Only if you promise not to break anything."  
"We won't." both of them stated, grinning sheepishly.  
"Well then, stick to that." He laughed and released them. Laughing they run out of the house.

"You look exhausted." He stated, embracing his wife.  
"Actually, I am. It turned out to be a little harder than we expected."  
"Why have you fetched them immediately? You could've waited a little. I'm sure Iruka would be ok with that."  
"I needed to have them around me." She said, walking back into the kitchen. "Tea?" she asked.  
"Sure." He nodded, leaning against the door frame now, carefully watching her.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked carefully.  
"Hmm." Now she nodded, taking the two cups of tea with her into the living room. Without a word he followed, looking for a hint what was bugging her. He couldn't stand seeing her suffering, and clearly that's what she was right now.  
"It's about the mission." It wasn't a question, he already knew it was the source. Grimly she gritted her teeth. He didn't want to push, so he sat there, quietly watching her normally beautiful features, which were skewed with pain and a little bit of horror. It was obvious that what she had seen on that mission was harder than she ever had seen before.  
"I… I've never seen so many dead children…" she mumbled silently. "Massacred in such a cruel way…"

"Where have you been?"  
"No-man's-land between Suna, Iwa and Ame. We found the… the bastard who did that." She clenched her fists, shaking with anger.  
"Genma had problems with pulling me away from what was left over… after I finished him off. I… I just had the urge to have my own kids around me."  
"I understand." He said, pulling her onto his lap. "Don't worry about them, they're safe." He held her close and hoped that he was able to sooth her with that.  
"But for how long? I don't wanted to expose them to danger, but despite that they're going to the academy in a few weeks. And since they have your brains they'll graduate quite quick again."  
"Genin aren't sent on dangerous missions."  
"And what was with your mission to nami when your students still were Genin? It was supposed to be a C-ranked, and turned out to be at least a B-ranked."  
"Naruto won't allow something like that to happen."  
"Nor will I."  
"You think I'll?" he asked her, sounding slightly offended and she shook her head.

"You smelled the blood when you came in." she stated and he nodded.  
"You should've smelled that it wasn't mine."  
"I was… to distracted." He admitted.  
"You would've seen a trace if it would've been mine, and if someone would've attacked me in the house you'd definitely would've seen it."  
"I know. I was just worried."  
"Like me."  
"Like you."  
"How was your mission?"  
"Not really what we've expected." He told her what had happened and she looked astonished.  
"They got you with such a simple thing?"  
"Maybe because it was so simple I haven't sensed a trap in that. But that won't happen again. Next time I'll burn such stuff with a fire-jutsu." he grumbled and caused Honoka to chuckle.

"I guess you should talk with Sakura." He said after a while.  
"I think it's better not to push anything. Love is a delicate thing to handle."  
"I know." He sighed. "You could go on holiday with her, I don't think it would be a problem for Naruto."  
"And for you?"  
"Why should it be a problem for me?" he asked, but as she looked out in the garden he got the point.  
"You think I won't survive that two little hellions?" he teased her with a wide grin.  
"Kakashi… you shouldn't call them names like that…" she stated, but smiled slightly.  
"Hey you monsters!" he called out to his kids. "Come here for a moment!"  
Heavy panting from their exercise both stood next to them a short while later.  
"What's up?" they asked.  
"Mom's worried that we won't survive two or three weeks together, when she's going on vacation with Sakura." He stated, knowing how the two will react.  
"Oy mom!" they cried. "Now you doubt us being good too?"  
"Never!" she called out laughing. "So you wouldn't knock down the house?"  
"Never!" they stated.  
"Follow your father's orders?"  
"Sure!"  
"Without grumbling?"  
"Is a little ok?" Kichiro asked grinning.  
"Just a little. It shouldn't be too easy for him." She winked at her twins.  
"Yosh! Are we dismissed then?"  
"Go ahead." Honoka laughed.  
"Thanks mom!" and they disappeared again.  
"Where do they have their power from?" Kakashi asked chuckling.  
"I don't know." Honoka sighed and suppressed a yawn. He played with a strand of her silver hair, lost in his thoughts.

"What's bothering you?" she asked him after a while.  
"I guess you really should join Sakura."  
"Why?"  
"Well, Ino wasn't really a help for her, honestly she made it even worse and since Tenten and Hinata have other things in mind… she needs a woman to talk to, and that has to be someone else than her mother. She trusts you."  
"I won't talk her into something, you know that?"  
"I haven't expected you to, but maybe you could help her sorting out her head and emotions. The fact that Ino told her that she thinks she's just jealous really got to her."  
"I know. It was the worst she could've said, but that's the Ino we're used to. Sometimes she speaks faster than she's able to think."  
"Yeah." He suddenly grinned as he thought about the memory Sakura brought back at the mission.  
"What's so funny?"  
"Sakura reminded me at the prank our twins played on Ino… poor Shikamaru."  
"That was sort of funny." She admitted sighing.  
"You shouldn't worry about that too much now. Our kids won't end that way."  
"I hope you're right." She said, snuggling up to him.  
"I know I am. They're our kids, after all."  
"And that's a problem as well. We have too much enemies."  
"Honoka, would you do me a favour?"  
"Sure."  
"Please stop worrying. You're doing your job pretty well, and I try to give my best too. We survived our messed up childhood, so why shouldn't they?"  
She smiled up to him, listened to his soothed and steady heartbeat, slowly relaxing. As he kissed her on the head she was already sleeping.

Later that day, as he had brought his wife to bed and caught his kids in the garden they were walking up to Ichirakus together. He was quite surprised to see Naruto sitting there.  
"Yo Naruto."  
"Yo sensei."  
"You do it again…" he sighed.  
"Just give it a rest." He grinned. "Hey my favourite monsters?" he grinned at the twins. They grinned back and both hugged him tightly.  
"Honoka's messed up, huh?" he asked is former teacher.  
"Yeah, that mission really got to her."  
"I'm sorry. If I had known before, I wouldn't have sent her."

"It's not your fault. But actually it's good to meet you here. I have a favour to ask you."  
"Spit it out." The blonde grinned.  
"You said you wanted to send Sakura on a holiday after the wedding…"  
"And you wanted to ask me if I could send Honoka with her?"  
"You got it."  
"See? My father's son isn't that stupid after all." He grinned widely, tickling Kimiko so she would stop pulling on his cloak. Kakashi just smiled and nodded.  
"Actually, as I had seen her that… upset, I thought about that already. She needs it now, like Sakura. I think it's good for them to be together, Sakura really is attached to her."  
"I know. Honoka cares for her as well. She hurts to Sakura suffering."  
"Not only her, huh?" Naruto mumbled, thanking Teuchi for his bowl.  
"No, we as well. Why are you here?"  
"Hina-chan sort of threw me out. She wanted to discuss and try some things on with Tenten, and Neji and I are so **not** **allowed** there." He rolled is eyes about that behaviour.  
"That'll be over soon." The copy Nin chuckled, grabbing Kichiro's bowl before it could fall off the counter.  
"Stop kidding while you're eating!" he scolded him.  
"Is it hard?" Naruto asked him.  
"What?"  
"Being married?"  
"You worry about _**that**_?" he looked at him unbelievingly.  
"Sort of, sometimes."  
"No, definitely not. And for nothing I would trade that."  
"And being a father?"  
"Comes naturally, but sometimes it could be… um… sort of nerve-wracking…"  
"Hey!"Kichiro protested.  
"You're not asked! Eat up." He said, giving him a stern look.  
"See, that's what I meant…" Naruto looked at him with mixed feelings.  
"Naw, normally they both are really good. It's normal for kids to stick up sometimes. And if I look at you and Hinata I don't think you'll have any problems. You can handle kids really well."

Naruto sighed and shoved the fourth empty bowl away from himself. Kimiko looked up to him, she already was finished, but more quiet like her brother.  
"What's up, Naruto?" she asked him.  
"Nothing."  
"That's unfair! Mom told us the same as we asked her, but we're not blind you know…" she looked even more curious. Sometimes it was really hard to believe that the twins just were four years old.  
"I'm a little nervous, if that satisfies you." He said, trying to smile.  
"No need to." She said, and patted him on the leg with her little hand.  
"I'd bet things will be great." She smiled at him confidently. Now he had to laugh, to see the faith she had in him was touching.  
"If you say so, little one." He winked.

Kichiro was arguing about his failure at a jutsu he practised today and Kakashi tried to explain him his mistakes, but the boy was sure he made all right.  
"Ne, Naruto…" Kimiko looked bothered.  
"What's up?"  
"Do you know why mom was so strange today?"  
"Hmm… I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you." He mused.  
"Pretty please?"  
"Well… she had seen many kids got… hurt. She's afraid that something like that could happen to you too."  
"Never!" she burst out, clapping her hands over her mouth immediately.  
"Promise me that." Naruto said, looking at her.  
"Promised!" she said seriously.

"Has she talked about him?" Naruto asked over the heads of the kids.  
"Yep."  
"And?"  
"No progress."  
"Man! I'll kick that bastard for this!" Naruto burst out.  
"That won't solve anything."  
"Then she should do that."  
"Do you think she would?" Kakashi asked him, doubt audible in his voice.  
"I don't know… but he really deserves it. I mean, I was just blind, but he knows it… I just don't get it. He, after all, should know how emotional pain feels."  
"You got a point, I guess he knows as well. Maybe he's just afraid of it."  
"What?"  
"That she really would kick him."  
"Don't tell me the chicken-head is worrying?" Naruto laughed.  
"Maybe he is, who knows?"  
"Really, Kakashi-sensei, that sounds ridiculous."  
"Like you using your head?"  
"Ok, I got it." Naruto stopped laughing, but still grinned. "Maybe you're right."  
"I hope so. Maybe she can forgive him then."  
"Yeah, maybe."  
"Ouch! I hope Honoka isn't mad… we're out for quite a while now…"  
"She won't rip your head off." He chuckled.  
"No, but after that mission I don't want to upset her. Kids, say good night, you can bug Naruto some when else."  
"It was a nice distraction." He laughed and hugged the kids.  
"Don't get cold feet, Naruto." He grinned.  
"Naw! You forget my nin-do, I'll never back down." He winked and paid his bill, heading home now as well.

Sakura was sitting in her office – what a rarity – and looking out of the window. The sun was slowly rising, forcing the darkness backwards with every minute. She liked it to watch that and she did it every morning, mostly wishing that the sun could chase away her sadness like the darkness of the night.

She was up early, dressing herself with the new kimono she had bought. She sighed, in two days the same again. Today was 'the big day', Naruto was so damned nervous he couldn't even write his name properly yesterday. She hadn't seen Hinata the last days too, and she wasn't sitting in her office the whole time. As it was time to leave she sighed one last time, telling herself not to screw up Naruto's special day and walked up to the shrine. Though Hinata's family is quite big, only her father, sister, Neji and Tenten were there. Naruto's 'family' was already there too: Iruka, Kakashi and now finally she. She had to suppress a laughter as she saw him in his traditional clothes, smiling nervously. Iruka looked as nervous as him, the only one who aired complete calmness was the copy nin.

Hinata was completely dressed in white and looked beautiful. Neji's expression couldn't be read but her father truly looked proud. Hanabi was smiling widely, same with Tenten and even Sakura caught herself smiling. After the traditional part at the shrine was over they went to the old meeting hall, where they had celebrated Naruto's birthday and met up with the rest. Hinata came back dressed in another kimono, accompanied from her cousin. They had ordered a huge buffet and hoped that it would be enough for all. Nearly all Hyugas were there, along with Naruto's friends and many fellow shinobi. Shikamaru was teasing Naruto because his outfit, Lee was fighting back tears, Ino was arguing with Choji not to eat the whole buffet alone… everything was normal.  
Later that evening, as most of the guests were already gone, Hinata changed her clothes again, now a coloured kimono and sighed. Sakura smiled because she knew that she would be happy if that day was over; it had been quite stress. She winked at Hinata to encourage her and earned a wink back. Inwardly looking for some peace she looked around and found Honoka sitting a little away from the party, her twins on the lap, both fast asleep.

"Exhausting, huh?" Sakura asked her.  
"Yes, definitely." Her lavender eyes looking deep into emerald ones. "How are you?"  
"Fine." She replied.  
"I mean, how are you handling this?"  
"I do my best. That obvious?"  
"No, don't mind." The older kunoichi answered. "They haven't noticed."  
"Good." She sighed and sat down next to her.  
"I don't want to sound… wrong… but I'm glad when this week is over and we can leave."  
"It's over faster than you might expect." Honoka said, looking over to the rest of them.  
"You look mentally exhausted." Sakura stated.

"I am, sort of."  
"Naruto told me that it has to do with your last mission. I thought you were happy to have one again?"  
"I was. It was a nice distraction at the beginning, but later…" a pained expression rushed over her face.  
"What had happened?"  
"I've seen… so many… massacred kids there… just horrible." She shuddered, holding her sleeping twins a little closer.  
"I always thought that I've seen the top of cruelty, but that…"  
"Hard…" Sakura just muttered, unable to say more.  
"Never mind that now, it's over, after all. So, where are we going?" Honoka asked her.  
"Taki-no-kuni. Naruto already informed Shibuki; we had to agree to his terms, so I'll have to bring you in there blinded."  
"I guess that's ok. As long as I don't get lost…" she smiled and Sakura started laughing.  
"I'm not insane, sensei would kick me though."

"Don't worry, that was a joke. I always find my way home."  
"Hmm…"  
"Sakura, don't wreck your mind." She said, smiling encouragingly at her.  
"I try, Honoka, I try." She sighed.  
"Well, I guess we should call it a day." She stood up, the twins grumbling because she woke them with it. Kakashi caught the noise and said good night to the rest, walking over to his wife, taking his son from her. Sakura used the chance as well, said good night and left with them.

"I thought it would be harder…" Sakura mumbled as they were out on the streets.  
"You did good." Kakashi stated, looking down on her.  
"Honoka already told me. I don't want to ruin their day, that's all I want."  
"You haven't. If you could stand Naruto's, then Neji's shouldn't be a problem too."  
"I hope you all are right." She sighed and yawned.  
"We are, believe us." Honoka said, smiling again. Sakura know what caught Kakashi, that smile was too nice and too understanding to resist, so she smiled back, feeling a little better.

"You really should talk with her." Kakashi said as they had put the kids into their beds.  
"I already told her that I won't talk her into something. She feels lonely, and I don't think that it's in my power to change that."  
"But maybe she feels a little better…?"  
"It's something she had to solve with him, not with one of us."  
"I never thought that it would become that complicated with him…"  
"You weren't easy to handle as well, back then…" she told him, stretching her arms.  
"I'm not going to discuss with you here. Let the kids sleep." She said, pulling him out of the room, down into the living room.

"Love problems aren't easy to be solved, it's nothing that can be cured with medicine."  
"I know that, but somehow I feel uneasy about that all. I mean, everyone has…"  
"You aren't in charge, if I have to remind you. You never were in that direction, normally there should be no need for me to tell you. I guess she would handle that all better if he'd said something clear about coming back or not, but he always let that open and that's hurting her most. She feels like betraying if she moves on and he comes back then."  
"That's irrational."  
"That's love. Love always has a addiction to be irrational. Remember how it was with us? I still was a stranger, an enemy, just in case you need a reminder."  
"That was something different."  
"No, it wasn't. At least not that different. She loves him, even if a part of her tells herself that she has to hate him for leaving, for causing her so much pain. She wanted to move on, to forget him, but she can't. She would feel like a traitor, that's why she never started something serious with someone else."  
"But that with Lee…"  
"They're just good friends, he comforted her. He was alone quite a long time too and suffered as well. But he's definitely not her type, she made that clear from the very start."  
"And if he never comes back?"  
"Than we might lose her too. She's already fading."  
"I feared that." He mumbled, looking exhausted as he sat down on the sofa.  
"Honey, don't you dare blaming yourself for that. You know pretty well that it was his decision to 

leave, no matter how hard you would've tried to convince him to stay, he wouldn't have changed his mind. The only one who ever had a chance bigger than yours was Naruto, and he took that chance whenever he saw him."  
His expression was pained and sighing she sat down next to him, pulling him over so his head was resting against her chest.  
"Things will change soon, don't torture yourself with such thoughts, ok?" she said, combing through his hair; sighing he nodded.

Neji's and Tenten's wedding two days later was exactly the same like Naruto's and Hinata's: the same people, the same location. First they thought about putting their weds together, but to leave each couple their special day for their own seemed to be a better thing.  
Sakura was more than mentally exhausted when she lay on her bed that evening, she felt completely empty. Somehow it felt for her like she had missed the link to the real world she was living in and looked down on it like in a snow dome. Honoka tried to comfort her the whole day and she was truly glad to have her around, it really was a little easier for her to go through all that. Though Honoka was Kakashi's wife she looked at her in another way, more like a big sister. She respected her in another way like her former sensei and she was happy to leave Konoha, together with her and hoped that she would feel a little better then. Two days after the wedding they finally left.


	5. Chapter 5

Finally that raven haired is back! g  
Slowly things are getting interesting, or at least I hope so. Please read and review! Pretty please!

* * *

Both of them remained silent the most of the time, but not that it bothered them. The silence was comfortable, they were used to that. Honoka knew Sakura would talk to her when she felt the need to; she really didn't want to push her. Faster than expected they reached taki-no-kuni and Sakura brought Honoka through the hidden entrance. Shibuki greeted them friendly, asking Sakura many questions about Naruto and Konoha, strictly avoiding to mention the Uchiha. Clearly Naruto had written him to leave that, but she was happy about that.

The first three days she was just sleeping, trying to catch up what she had lost and the dark bags slowly disappeared. Honoka did everything that she would feel better, but no matter what she did, no matter what she tried, no smile reached Sakuras eyes. Inwardly sighing she gave up, knowing that it wouldn't help a bit and only exhaust herself.  
"You think I'm stupid, huh?" Sakura asked her, as she sat down next to her, looking at the big lake.  
"No." the silver haired shook her head. "Sticking to your dreams is nothing stupid, I only think you should stop hurting yourself."  
"And how do you think I hurt myself?"  
"The same way Kakashi does, with feeling guilty. No one should wreck ones head about other ones decisions."  
"Then tell me what I should do." She stated, sounding helpless.  
"No, I won't. What you do is your business, not mine. If you feel like waiting, then do it, but if you feel to move on, do that. Do what you need to do to be happy, so you won't regret anything later. That's the only thing I can tell you."  
"What would you do? If you were me, I mean…"  
"Oh Sakura." Honoka sighed heavily. "I don't know… I mean if he would've told me that he loves me and I really had the feeling that he meant it I would wait, no matter how long. But you waited quite long… if I would've waited that long… I guess I would set myself an ultimatum, six months. If I had a message or something else that promises he's coming back in that time, I'd wait, but if not, I guess I'd try to move on, force me to. But I'm not sure about that either, I've never been in such a situation, so I really can't help you, even though I wish I could. Everyone wishes."  
"I know." Sakura sighed. "It's just that I feel… guilty… only if I think about moving on… like a traitor…"  
"Do what your heart tells you to do, and never regret it."  
"That's so easily said…" she mumbled.  
"Why don't you try to block that out now? You should really enjoy your time here, the air, the light; not sitting in your office…"  
"I do enjoy." Sakura defended herself. "You just don't see it."  
"Oh, forgive me! I'm blind." Honoka teased back.  
"Your acting so non-adult, you know." The pink haired grinned.  
"You're the one to talk…" the silver haired rolled her eyes.

And Sakura really enjoyed that time. It was wonderful to be away from the normal craziness of daily life and sitting being here with Honoka was like hanging around with a big sister. Shibuki sometimes chatted with them too, but most of the time they had their peace. Sadly two weeks pass by quite quick, so they were on their way home much too soon. As they reached the village they separated, Honoka headed for the training grounds, knowing too well that she would pick up her family there while Sakura headed home.

Honoka sat grinning on a branch and watched the twins attacking their father, and as the attack failed she started laughing and nearly fell down.  
"Finally home, eh?"  
"Looks like that…" she grinned. "Should I leave again?"  
"No!" he said quickly. "Um, I mean, no that's not necessary."  
"Why don't you just confess that you missed me like crazy and that I should stay because you go insane otherwise?" she teased.  
"Because I know you too well that I need to speak that out loud." He grinned.  
"Enough training for today, I want to know what I've missed while I was gone…"  
"Ok kids, you've heard your mom."  
Without big complaints the twins followed them home, adding their comments in their fathers story whenever they thought they were needed and as they reached home and just entered the house Kakashi said:  
"HE is back." The look in his eyes was enough for her to understand.

"When?"  
"One week after you left."  
"Just standing in the village or what?"  
"Nearly hit the spot honey." He said as he sat down on the couch sighing.  
"What has Naruto said?"  
"Better ask me what he hadn't said." He mumbled, trying to catch Kichiro who stole his mask.  
"He flipped. I thought that you would hear him shouting till taki-no-kuni."  
"Actually I haven't." Honoka sighed. "Oh man, I finally had Sakura back to life again and then he shows up. Believe me, if she's going to go back on zombie-mode I kill that freak personally."  
"Naruto nearly did, well, he nearly shouted him to death. I've heard him shouting pretty often as long as I know him, but that was beyond all I knew."  
"He deserves it, idiot."  
"That's what Naruto told him too. Fascinating thing was, the first days he was here all were looking at him. Staring like they had never seen him before, but funny is that they completely ignore him now. Not even Ino pays attention on him."  
"Be ashamed. Shouldn't you as his former sensei be a little nicer?" she said ironically.  
"Well, I was. At the beginning."  
"And why have you stopped?"  
"Because he called me an annoying tot." Kichiro pouted while Kimiko giggled.  
"That's rude." Honoka stated.  
"Couldn't let him say that, could I?"  
"Nope. So what did you do?"  
"Well…" he tried to get away with that, but his daughter was faster.  
"He clouted him." Kimiko grinned.  
"Well done!" Honoka laughed.

_-flashback-_

_It was already going dark and Naruto was still sitting in his office, sending Sakura away meant more writing-work for himself. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. It knocked at the door and Hinata entered, carrying something to eat for him.  
"You shouldn't overdo it." She said, as she placed the bowl in front of him.  
"I know." He sighed. "But if I don't do that now it gets more and more. Sakura-chan's going to kill me if I leave her that much work."  
_"_But sitting here the whole day doesn't do any good to you either."  
"Ok, then I'll call it a day." He grinned, grabbing the bowl and the chopsticks. Hinata smiled and shook her head. They were just about to leave as someone knocked at his door.  
"What?" he asked, rolling his eyes and shrugged apologetically with is shoulders._

"_Rokudaime-sama, we have an intruder." The shinobi said who entered.  
"A what?" Naruto asked with a raised brow.  
"Get lost." A familiar voice came from behind, causing all to freeze in motion. And then he popped into sight, the same onyx eyes and the raven hair: Sasuke Uchiha.  
Behind himself there were five knocked-out guards in the floor._

"_What the heck…?" Naruto burst out. "What are you doing here?!"  
"Coming home, baka." He answered.  
"Don't fuck with me! Bastard! I'm not blind!"  
"Why do you ask then?"  
"YOU KNOCKED OUT THE GUARDS! MORON!"  
"They were standing in my way, so…"  
"SASUKE YOU…!"  
"Naruto, please, calm down…" Hinata tried to silence him a bit.  
"Hina-chan, go home please. I can't guarantee that…"  
"Please…"  
"Please, go." He said again and waited until she disappeared with a silent 'poof'.  
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? MAKING A FRIENDLY APPEARANCE WITH THAT?"  
"They wouldn't let me through."  
"You just could've ASKED them!"  
"I never ask."  
"THAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM! You're NOT the centre of universe! You NEVER were!"  
"We had that already…" the raven haired sighed.  
"But you bring it up again every time we meet."_

"_Why so suddenly?" Naruto asked him, eyeing him suspiciously.  
"I heard some rumours about you, Hokage and wedding and stuff, so I decided to drop by…"  
"Are you going to stay? Or are you going to leave again?"  
"Does that matter?"  
"It does. If you want to leave again I'll give you four days, otherwise I'll throw you out." He said, looking stern.  
"Why would you?"  
"Why? You are stupid enough to ask me why?" he burst out. "After your big show? What the HELL do you think? Do you know what this did to Sakura?"  
"Why should I care?"  
"WHY? __**WHY?**__ HOW DARE YOU! Because SHE cares for YOU! I never understand why, but she does! And all **you** do is hurting her! Killing her inside!"_

"_I never promised her anything."  
"But she keeps hoping, and you keep on hurting her."  
"That's her own fault."  
"Don't you __**DARE**__ even thinking about blaming her for your cold-hearted behaviour." He hissed, his __voice dangerously low.  
"Are you threatening me?" Sasuke asked cool.  
"Things have changed, Uchiha. Hokage or not, I won't allow you to act like you're the big one; you should be glad that there were still some here believing in you so you won't stay nuke-nin."  
"Who cares? What would they've done?"  
"Don't be that arrogant. I was able to take Pain down, there would've been a way to deal with you too." He growled.  
"Now you're doing it me again."  
"I don't. I promise you. Behave yourself or grab your stuff and disappear. If you choose running away again, then better never show up around the village again, but if you decide to stay you have to find your place. No one is going to step down because of you."_

"_Says who?"  
"Me."  
"Ts." He snorted.  
"Don't be too self-confident. Konoha has changed, there are some who can keep up with you without any troubles now." Naruto said, now grinning. "And better don't annoy anyone, not everyone is going to be glad to have you back."  
"We'll see…"  
"Stay or leave?"  
"Stay, I guess." He answered, his voice now friendlier.  
"See, I know you can behave yourself. What made you change your mind?"_

_"I see." Naruto sighed. "Still too stubborn to be happy to be at home. Now get lost, I'm on my way home already."  
"Who made you stay?"  
"YOU! IDIOT! Because of you I sent my wife home, and now I have to apologise for being rude." He said, grabbing the bowl and the chopsticks, heading for the door.  
"Go to your place."_

_That's something he didn't has to tell him twice. Where else should he go? He knew that his behaviour was everything else but nice, but somehow he just couldn't say 'forgive me', even though he really meant it. The fact that Naruto had shouted at him had taken him by surprise; he was used to that earlier but the blonde had changed so much through the years, he didn't even call him names anymore. As he walked to the district he once called home the people were staring at him. They already had gazed when he was little, but this time the looks were different. He felt uncomfortable, he knew that he deserved it to be treated like that, going to Orochimaru back then was treason; even if he wasn't joining the fights against Konoha like he had as he had joined Akatsuki. _

_The next days were the same, he walked up to Ichiraku and passed Yamanaka's flower shop. Ino was standing in the door, talking to Shikamaru; she just stopped to look at him and then continued her conversation without anything further. No one called for him, no one spoke directly with him and that irritated him. He even would be glad if he heard Sakura calling for him. It was strange to be here again without someone bugging him, it was so silent. Not even Kakashi had showed up to say something, maybe he was going to ignore him?  
He just turned around the corner as something, better someone, bumped into him.  
"Oy, sumimasen!" the kid said, as he stood up again, rubbing his butt.  
_

"_Couldn't you look where you ran?" Sasuke grumbled down.  
"You were just coming round the corner… it wasn't my intention." Somehow the boy reminded him of someone.  
"For the next time, better look were you go, annoying tot." he grumbled, and wanted to walk away, but just as he had said the last word, someone knocked him on the head. He was used to see such moves, but not suffer under them himself.  
"If someone apologises for his mistakes, accept it and don't act like an idiot." He heard a bored sounding voice behind him. Immediately he knew who was talking to him, and as he halfway had turned around he really could see the copy nin.  
"Good smack." The boy grinned as he walked over to Kakashi.  
"Um… sorry…" he mumbled, curious about the older man.  
"C'mon dad! You promised to train!" the boy grabbed the silver haired man's hand and dragged him away._

_Dad? He really must have missed something. As he sat down at Ichirakus and ordered his lunch he was surprised as Naruto showed up and grinned at him.  
"What?" he asked, trying not to sound too irritated.  
"I've seen you've met Kichiro?"  
"Who?"  
"The boy who bumped into you. It's Kakashi-sensei's son. Have you seen Kimiko already? He has twins you know."  
"WHAT?"  
"I told you that many things have changed. Ino is dating Shikamaru for years now, they avoid the topic 'wedding' consequently. Neji and Tenten are married, like Hina-chan and me… actually everyone has settled down in that way, except Lee, he's dating quite often, has problems in choosing which one's the right."  
"Lee dating? Kakashi has kids? Man, I have really missed much. Is he married too?"  
"Sure. His wife is on vacation with Sakura-chan."  
Now his confusion was perfect. All the time he never really cared what was going on in Konoha and now nothing was like before. But what has he expected? That things would stay the way they were?_

_The next days he recognised more of those changes Naruto had told him. Earlier he was used to the fact that most of the people around him were always looking at him, like the blonde once said 'making him to the centre of attention', but now they were simply ignoring him. First that somehow snubbed him, but he has to cope with that if he wanted to stay, so he took a more observing part.  
Lee obviously had changed the most as he found out, no green spandex and a different haircut; the others changed a lot too. Not that it was a problem for him that Ino didn't act like she was used to before he had left.  
Lost in his thoughts he walked around and came past the field where they used to train and spotted his former sensei with his kids and he felt a sudden sting. He sat down and watched them while they were training until a silver haired women appeared on the other side of the field. As he heard her melodic laughter the others turned towards her. He didn't pay attention to what she said, he only watched how they were acting together. He sighed inwardly and stood up, walking home._

_As he wanted to walk up to Naruto's office the next evening he stopped dead in his movements, realizing who was standing on the street in front of him. Nothing really remembered him at the girl who tried to stop him; somehow he felt the urge to say something to her, but he just remained silent __and gaped at her.  
Sakura stared down the street, unable to believe what she saw, **he** was back._


	6. Chapter 6

Next chapter up. I'm a little sad that there are just so few readers, but to those who read: THANK YOU!! I'm always happy to see a few hits more! I only hope you like what you read, so please leave me some reviews!!

* * *

Why the hell has that to happen? She blinked several times, trying to believe that this was all a hallucination. She knew that it was him, because she already had heard the murmur about his return. And then, something switched mentally; she turned round and walked away.  
Sasuke stood there, watching how she left and felt anger rising inside. Even she! Even she was avoiding him like that! Grumbling inwardly he continued his way up to the Hokage tower as he walked into Naruto's office he was stunned a second time. There were kids running around, not some kids – obviously Kakashi's – and they were playing.  
"What the heck are you doing here?" he asked, slightly annoyed.  
"Playing, what do you think?"  
"With Kakashi's kids?"  
"Sure, if they need some time together. Why not?"  
"Just wondering."  
"Why are you so pissed?"  
"Well, if everyone is avoiding you like you're the pest…"  
"I know that already." Naruto rolled his eyes.  
"I met Sakura."  
"And?"  
"What 'and'?" he asked back.  
"What did she do?"  
"The same like the rest! She stared at me and then turned and left!"

Naruto blinked twice, and then he started laughing.  
"Well, that's sort of a payback, isn't it?"  
"I don't see what's so funny about that." He grumbled.  
"But actually I do." Naruto stated, trying to calm down. "She was so down as you left… first she took that as an incentive to train, but as you didn't return and the years went by she became quite depressive. Sometimes we didn't really know whether she will get over it or not. It hurt her too much to cope with the fact that you won't return. You shouldn't be astonished about her behaviour, you can be glad that she didn't kick you, believe me."  
"Saku-chan kicks hard." Kimiko grinned.  
"Yes she does." Naruto winked at the girl. "I notice that once in a while…"  
"And you think that's funny?"  
"Actually… nope. But it's your own fault. Until two years ago she would've welcomed you back with open arms."  
"Why that change?"  
"You have to ask? Everyone was settling down, even our 'strange old sensei' and she was still alone, because no one, and I really mean no one, was good enough. She always tried to compare everyone to you and they all failed."

The blonde sighed and looked at the raven haired man in front of him, and could clearly feel the confusion and the mixed feelings he had.  
"You should give her time. She arranged her day that way, that she won't see anything that happened next to her work, she has to rearrange things, and that can take time."  
"Time?"  
"Yes, time. Let her enough space and air to breathe."  
"Hn."  
"If you really care… if not, better stay away from her." and after a look at Sasuke's face he added:  
"Completely."  
"What do you intent to say?" the Uchiha asked back, eyeing him scornfully.  
"I intent to say that if you're not interested in _**her**_ and only want someone to babble around you like earlier, stay away from her."  
"I already caught that hint a few days ago." He grumbled.  
"Then you're pretty well informed and prepared." Naruto grinned back.

"If you look like that no wonder that Saku-chan turned round." Kimiko stated, looking pretty self-confident as she stood there in front of him.  
"You should smile a little, if you can cheer her up things will be ok." She said, turning round and attacking her brother who was trying to hide under Naruto's desk. The blonde only shrugged his shoulders and grinned at him, there was nothing more to add to that.  
Inwardly sighing Sasuke turned round and left, hands buried in his pockets. Naruto rolled his eyes and then quickly grabbed the ink-pot before it could ruin the documents on his desk and then he tried to get the twins doing something useful.

Sasuke walked through the streets, not really paying attention where he was going, as he caught some voices which were pretty familiar to him.

"_Ne, Sakura, you don't look good." Tenten stated, as she looked at her friend.  
"Tenten's right, you look… pale." Hinata said slightly worried.  
"Oh c'mon! Don't say that's because of that Uchiha-idiot again!" Ino burst out. "You've been away with Honoka and were nearly human again as you were back, and now you go back to zombie-mode or what?"  
"Ino! Shut up!" Tenten barked. "You don't do her any good if you go on like that!"  
"Would you all please be a little more silent?" Sakura asked, rubbing her temples.  
"I was just… surprised… that's all."  
"Sure, we were surprised. We ignored him, but you just… flip."  
"No I don't!" Sakura bit back.  
"What are you going to do?" Hinata asked her silently.  
"Honestly, I don't know." She answered silently. "I always thought that I'd know what to do…"  
"Kick his butt!" Ino cheered.  
"Ignore him." Tenten mumbled.  
"Leave that to her." Hinata told them. "By the way, haven't you two have something to do?"  
"If you want us to leave it would be easier if you just say it." Ino grumbled.  
"Well then, leave."  
"Ino, move." Tenten said, grabbing her and dragging her out of the office._

"_Thanks Hinata." Sakura sighed and relaxed a little.  
"You need some air to breathe, it would have been better if you would leave now."  
"Some when I'd have to face that all." She sighed again.  
"Well, maybe later would have been better in that case."  
"And going on like this longer? No, better now. I have to come to a conclusion, this is no way to life."  
"That's your decision."  
"I know. Honestly I'd be happy if I had it easier…" she laughed sadly.  
"Sakura… just a little question, and please don't be mad at me… do you think he's worth it?"  
"I asked myself the same over and over again. Years ago I would've answered 'of course', but now I'm __not sure anymore."  
"Hmm, I understand. I guess you'll find out soon."  
"I have to find out soon, otherwise it'll kill me." Sakura sighed.  
"Just in case you need someone to talk, you know where to find me."  
"Thanks Hina, you're really a good friend."_

That hit him. Well, only Ino and Sakura were the ones always ogling him, Tenten was one year their senior and Hinata always only had eyes for Naruto. The fact that Ino wasn't crazy for him anymore didn't bother him, but why felt it that strange for him that Sakura wasn't sure about him anymore?  
He never had forgotten what she told him before he had left, all those years in his 'weak' minutes these words were swirling around in his head and now? The only reason for him to come home was his old team, he never called anyone else around 'friend'. Kakashi was somewhat near a fatherly friend, Naruto was like a brother to him and Sakura, well, she was Sakura. At the beginning she really was nothing more than a 'slow-down', annoying and a cry-baby, but she really had changed, that was obvious. But was she truly loving him? What was love at all? He looked up to the window of the office and was shocked, she stood there, looking down on him, her face like a mask and her eyes unable to read.

For a short moment both of them stood there, looking at each other without any movement and then she turned away. Again. He felt the same sting he had as he saw Kakashi with his family and turned around. What the heck was going on? Why was that bugging him that much? Every fucking thing in this village was annoying him! Naruto's face on the Hokage-mountain, the fact that he was married, the fact that no one paid attention anymore… well, not specially no one, mostly that Sakura acted that strange.  
She always cared, she always was worried and she always trusted, but now? Inwardly cursing he walked down the street and bumped into someone he hadn't recognised.  
"Gomen." He mumbled and walked on.  
"Not even interested in who you knock over?"

The amusement in his voice forced him to turn and look at him.  
"Um…"  
"It doesn't feel like the home you were used to, right?"  
"No."  
"Well, we all had to move on. That's the way life works, being trapped in the past doesn't lead you anywhere. I already told you that there would nothing be left than emptiness when you kill him."  
"I found out that you were right…" he mumbled silently.  
"Annoying, huh?" The copy Nin chuckled and the way the Uchiha's face flinched was answer enough.  
"What have you expected? That everything would be the same like it was when you left? Think realistic, that was eight years ago!"  
"I know." He mumbled.  
"Well, the behaviour you earn now is the payback for what you've done years ago. You can't expect them that they forgive you so easily. What you've done cut deep."  
"Hn."  
"See?" Kakashi sighed. "Some when you have to leave your high horse. Strength isn't defined in how good you can act cool and emotionless."

Sasuke remained silent. He knew that Kakashi was right, he knew that too well. He also knew that he could be glad to have Naruto, because he didn't make a big act and put him under watch and stuff, but it was still hard to believe, to trust.  
"Trust is something very important. No one here let you down, they all fought for you to come back. Even though none of them looked at you in such a trusting way like Sakura."  
Somehow Kakashi knew that this was exactly what was bugging him the most.  
"You have no idea how much it had hurt her."  
The Uchiha sighed and then walked away. Kakashi didn't stop him, he knew too well that it's not easy to show emotions, not after you had buried them for such a long time.

Somehow his feet lead him to the bridge where they were used to meet years ago. He looked down at the reflexion on the water. What did he want? What did he expect? The loneliness he had felt was the reason for him to come home, but now that he was back it didn't feel like home either. Why did it feel so strange, why had it hurt, the way Sakura had looked at him? Had he really feelings for her? He has to, because if not, why should it matter that she had looked at him _this_way. He sighed. He had lost the track how often he had sighed the last days, but it seems like it has become sort of a habit. For Naruto it had been quite easy to talk about his feelings, but it was something completely different here. Or not? Well, he had always acted like the tough guy, showing emotions now would really be weird. He was no cry-baby, he never had been, and he had never asked for things. He never had to, because it was no one there he could've asked, at least that's what he was telling himself.

Naruto had been right with everything he had said, the way he had behaved, the way he had treated the people around him, those who might had become something similar to a family for him, but mostly of all: Sakura. She had always trusted him, never doubted anything he had said, accepted all that he had said and done, she had cared and he had rebuffed her. And that not only once.  
"I'm such an idiot." He mumbled to himself.  
"Finally getting it, huh?" he heard a tired voice answering.  
"Who invited you to talk?" he asked back.  
"No one. But since you'd never ask someone, I decided to start."  
"Why should you care?"  
"Good question. Normally I really so don't care what's up with you, but since Ino is grumbling about you all the time since you're back… that's just such a drag."

"Haven't you always been the guy who never cared to listen?"  
"Ouch, that hit." Shikamaru mumbled sarcastically. "Normally, yes. But even if I'm able to block her babbling out, I always catch some words."  
"So what?"  
"'so what' what? I just tried to be a little friendly to you because it seems that except Naruto and Kakashi no one's talking with you. Not even Sakura."  
"What do you mean with that? Not even her?"  
"Actually I have a little bet up with Neji, Lee and Choji. We're betting how long it'll take her until she kicks your butt. Lee had already lost, he thought that would happen the first time she sees you. The rest of us is still on in the game."  
"Don't stick your nose in things that aren't your business."  
"Your _**privacy**_is none of your business, Sakura's wellbeing is. We were the ones who saw her walking around like someone had ripped her inwardly apart and took the happy aspects of her life away. _**You**_ haven't seen that. That was horrible. But why would _**you**_ care?"


	7. Chapter 7

Here I go again Slowly Sasuke is recognising what he had done and thinking about a way how to change that.  
I hope you like it. So please enjoy.

* * *

"I **_do_** care! Damn it!" he burst out. "Why does everyone think I'm heartless?"  
"You have to ask? Except Lee and Naruto none of us had ever been a big talker, but you… We were hanging around together, but you? We helped each other, but you? Do you need more examples or was that enough for you to recognise how much of an idiot you have been?"  
"I already know that point…" he mumbled.  
"If you do, why do you have to ask?"  
"Hn."  
"See?"  
"Yeah. I guess I have to proof some things…"  
"Hmm, how about your loyalty first? I guess Naruto needs someone for a mission… that's why I'm here you know…"  
"Everything is good enough to get out of here." He sighed.  
"We'll see." Shikamaru grinned.  
"Um… thanks…" Sasuke mumbled and then left. Shikamaru looked stunned, he had thanked him?!

He marched up to Naruto's office and for once he stopped in front of the doors, knocked and waited.  
As he entered his friend was surprised.  
"You?"  
"Why not?"  
"You knocked and you waited?? Are you feeling well?"  
"Um, yes?"  
"Oh, ok… and what's up?"  
"I need a mission, something to do…"  
"Good! Wait, I planned asking you already for a mission… just a second, I have it here anywhere…"  
He rummaged and after a while he found the scroll he had been looking for.

"Here! You're going with Honoka and Lee, they already know… You'll meet them at the gate, this evening at eight."  
"Hn." He made, reading through the orders.  
"Nothing too big, freeing a hostage."  
"Hn." Sasuke made again.  
"Be nice to them."  
"I won't bite anyone." He mumbled, handing him the scroll back. "I'll go and pack my stuff."  
"Do that." Naruto eyed him suspiciously, something was different.  
"See you around…" and with that the raven haired left.

A few hours later he walked towards the gate, his hands in his pockets and he tried not to think that much about that upcoming mission. As the gate came into view he was surprised again, Lee with his haircut and clothes… so completely different like years before, and the slender woman with the silver hair and the lavender eyes. She was talking to Lee and then she laughed, a wonderful light laughter. Maybe the mission wouldn't be that bad after all.  
"Hi." He mumbled, as he reached them.  
"Hi, Uchiha." Lee replied dryly.  
"Hi." The woman smiled. "Let's get going."  
"Hai." Lee grinned, turned round and started going. Honoka just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Lee! We're not on the run! Slow down, please!" she called after him, but he was already too far away.  
"I guess we have to catch up." She sighed and reached out for Sasuke's hand. He hesitated, and she rolled her eyes.  
"I don't bite, you know." She laughed and grabbed his hand, activating her kekkei genkai and rushing forward with him. Sasuke was mentally stunned from that speed, he never had imagined that it was possible to move that fast. It seemed like an eye-blink and they were standing in front of Lee.  
"Wow." Was all he managed to say.  
"You're moving too fast." Honoka told Lee and he tried not to laugh because of the context of her statement.  
"Honoka-san…"  
"I love your enthusiasm Lee, but there's no need to hurry _**that**_ much."

The rest of the day they travelled slower, Sasuke was listening to the easy chatter between Lee and Honoka, he was somehow relieved that they didn't expect him to join them and was happy to listen to them at the same time. It was easy to like her and even Lee didn't seem to match the impression he had of him in his head.  
"Time to rest for the night." She stated after a while.  
"Yosh! I collect some wood for the fire…" Lee stated and then he was gone. She sighed and sat down, packing out their 'dinner'. Sasuke disappeared without big words and came back with fresh water. Honoka laughed and took it.  
"What's up?" he asked her bemused.  
"Nothing. Nothing bad. It's just funny to watch how you deal with that all."  
"I have to deal with it somehow." He mumbled.  
"You could do worse." She chuckled.

She took the first watch for the night, the moon shone brightly and she sighed inwardly. It would be more fun to have the copy nin around, but nonetheless she felt good. Lee was slightly snoring and Sasuke… was still awake.  
"You don't need sleep?" she asked quietly.  
"Hn."  
"Don't trust me, huh?"  
"Um… no… it's just…"  
"You don't know me." Statement, no question. She chuckled, he slightly blushed.  
"What do you want to know?" she asked him.  
"Since when… you and Kakashi…"  
"Since five years, in a way. The twins are four years old, just in case you ask."

The next hours he asked questions and she answered, sometimes she laughed a little and sometimes she mused about the reasons for some questions. As he finally became tired she had pity for him, somehow he reminded her at Kakashi.  
"The best for you would be to make a new start, leaving behind all the things that had happened till now."  
"Sounds so easy…"  
"And it's not as hard as you may think. As long as you don't take that much time as Kakashi…"  
"I haven't planned that." He mumbled.  
"I guess I know that." She stated and stretched a little.  


"You don't switch, right?"  
"No. On missions I rarely sleep. Lee needs much rest, even if he tries to deny it. With you I'm not sure."  
"Just as much as necessary." He answered.  
"Why did you come back?" she asked him. "Not that you get me wrong, I'm just curious. What was the trigger?"  
"… loneliness, I guess." A short and sad smile rushed over his face. "Even if I don't really understand it myself, I missed them all. At least somehow."

"Believe it or not, _**I**_ _**can**_ understand that." She said honestly. "Konoha is a wonderful place. The people here are special; I haven't seen that ever before."  
"I know." He sighed. "Before I had left, they all were there but I never really saw one of them. I was so fixed at becoming stronger; the only one really visible had been Kakashi. Sakura had been there too, but she was mostly disturbing, mostly, not always. On that bridge… it was… different. Same with Naruto. He always was a loser, annoying and a screw up, but then he made such efforts… I was shocked."  
"You feared that the 'loser' could become stronger than you." Again a statement. He just nodded. Her eyes seemed to read his soul, somehow he thought that she might understand him.  
"Naruto fought for me… for my soul… he always wanted me to come back. He told me that I'm sort of a brother to him, and I knew that deep down I felt the same. He was a friend, a true friend, but I _**had**_ to leave. I made up my mind of going my way. If I'd stayed in Konoha I never would've been able to go."  
"But not because you feared that you won't become strong enough."  
"Huh?"

"I guess the only thing you feared was, that your friends would become too precious to you, so you wouldn't have been able to leave them at all. I know that Kakashi had told you that there would be nothing left when you killed your brother, nothing but emptiness. I think you couldn't stand that emptiness anymore and remembered a place where it would be easier to fight that feeling."  
"You know that my brother had killed my family." She curtly nodded.  
"He knew that I would come after him, avenge what he had done. He told me to hate, to cling to my life and that I had to become stronger; I did it. It trained like hell, did everything I could to become stronger, even leaving the land I was raised to protect. And then, finally I faced him. I thought that I would be satisfied when I killed him, but I wasn't. I found out that he had been ill, taking I don't know which medicines to keep his body working, to give me my revenge. But that wasn't all I learned about him, about my family. They planned to take over, I found some documents two years ago, and that's why I wasn't able to come back. I just couldn't do it. Always I tried to see a monster in my brother, the monster that killed my entire family, but I couldn't anymore. Not after what I had found out. He was more loyal to the village than many others. And I nearly destroyed what he had protected so hard."

Honoka took a deep breath. That was much. She would bet that he never spoke _**that**_ much, especially not about his family and the things that bugged him. Sakura had told her that she had an influence on people, that it was sometimes more than easy to trust her. After all what she had heard about him from the other ones she was sitting between two chairs, some hated him and some pitied him.  
She counted herself to the last ones. She could feel how hard it was for him to come back, that he 

somehow feared that the villagers would found out about the 'dirty clothes' of his family; that the once good name could completely fall in disgrace. And finding his place again after so many changes wasn't that easy at all.  
"He had done what he had to, that was necessary to protect. And I don't think that his priority was protecting the village, I think he did it because of _**you**_. He wanted to keep the village a good place for _**you**_, without treason. It must have torn him apart to do that to you, to leave you suffering. He must have hated himself for that, and I think that's why he wanted you to kill him. So you'd be able to settle down after that and that he could die in peace."  
"You think so?"

"Yes, I think so. Maybe if you remember back, remember all the things he had said and done to you before he had killed everyone; and then remember exactly what he had said and done before you finally…. freed him. If he had wanted to destroy you, it would've been more than just easy for him to do that when you've been a kid."  
He did what she said, he thought back. Itachi had cared for him, he tried hard to make sure to keep him out of all the things he didn't wanted him to know; he had cried the night he had killed the whole clan and he had smiled as he died. He wanted him to become stronger, not only that he would be able to kill him, but to be strong enough to resist someone even more dangerous, and he managed it.  
"I think you're right." He whispered after a while, hardly fighting back tears.  
"You should live the life he wanted to protect for you. Isolating yourself isn't the right thing to do."  
He just nodded.  
"It really must be shocking for you to come home to such a changed village."  
"A shock? That's not exactly the word I was thinking about." He stated dryly, which caused her a silent laugh-attack.

"What? That's the way it is." He defended himself. "Seeing Naruto's face at the Hokage-mountain is shock enough, but to find out that he is married…"  
"I can give you little advice. There have developed some simple rules."  
"Rules?"  
"Yes. They have a 'girls-eve' once a week, mostly on Tuesdays, where they go out together. Means Ino, Tenten, Hinata and Sakura, so never disturb them then. What else? Well, Naruto is only pissed when you play havoc in the hokage tower, but I've heard you found that out already. Oh! Yeah, next big thing when you meet with the whole bunch: greet Shino as second or third. He gets really pissed if he's the last one; never challenge Kiba – he freaks out sometimes – and that pisses Shino even more. Choji still flips when you call him 'fat' or insult Shikamaru; last one hates it like hell if you peach where he hides and he's overprotective to little Asuma. Lee is still touchy when someone insults Guy, that's no news either, only Neji… well, I never have seen him freaking. But I guess he would get angry if someone would insult Tenten, Hina or Naruto, since they're big family now."

"That's a lot."  
"You'll keep it in mind, I'm optimistic."  
"Don't be over-confident…" he mumbled.  
"You'll see, it's not that hard."  
"Thanks."  
"For what?"  
"Listening. And being nice. I don't think I deserve it."  


"If I may protest here." She said, now looking stern. "Everyone who regrets a mistake deeply and wants to change deserves it. Act that normal around them like you act around me – even though you don't know me like you know them – and let yourself time. You'll see that's all that's needed. And now sleep. I hate grumbling tired men."  
He grinned but did as she had told him.

The night was beautiful and quiet. The moon wandered over the sky and Honoka was watching it. All the things Sasuke had told her echoing in her mind. Those poor kids. Sometimes she hated it to be a shinobi. To see what power-thirst had done to that family, forced two brothers to suffer that much… She looked down on him, his features relaxed and enlightened from the moon. No wonder all the girls fell for him, he really was a handsome guy. The wounds in his soul had just started healing. How hard it must have been for him to find out what his family had planned? To know that other ones in the village had known as well and used a kid – and Itachi still had been one, at least at age – to fight against the own family. Cruel. That's simply it. Danzou must have known, but since he died nearly two years ago there's no chance to ask him. All who had known were dead now, the Goikenban, the Third. Inwardly she sighed. Was it really such a big surprise? To keep peace and freedom in a shinobi-village has its costs. Stupid who thinks about that in another way.

She looked up to the moon again and smiled. Smiled because she could hug Naruto again. He gave his friend a true chance for a new start. Without any exceptions, without steady watch, without a time of probation. The blonde must feel that the raven haired deserves it. Sometimes it was hard to believe that such a big and good heart has enough space in the Rokudaime. Kakashi was right, Naruto had already proofed that he surpassed all the hokage before. She knew that his parents would explode of pride if they could see how he's doing. The slowly growing noises of the dawning day brought her back to reality. There was still a mission to do, nothing big. That's for sure, with two strong kekkei genkai and Lee's high-speed taijutsu.

She was chewing on a cereal-bar as the two others woke up.  
"Slept well?" she asked cheerfully.  
"You haven't switched!" Lee protested.  
"There was no need to."  
"But you should've…"  
"Give it a rest. If she says so… it's her decision. Accept it."  
Lee looked surprised at him. Sasuke had spoken and defended another one in one sentence. So he just shrugged his shoulders and rolled up his sleeping bag. Honoka handed them over something to eat and then they continued their way. It didn't take Lee long to recognise the change in Sasuke's behaviour, but he didn't trust that yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry folks, it took me quite long to update, but I was really busy. Since I had a little more time the last week I was able to write a little more than usual. I'm still a little sad that there are only so few reading this story... but to those who read: thanks! I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

They walked on quietly, Lee forced himself to travel at their speed since Honoka really didn't want to break any records it seemed the best for him. Sasuke was fine with that too; it let him time to think about many things. Shikamaru's words had hit a sensitive spot, even if he tried to deny it, he was right. Inwardly he cursed himself. A part of him had really hoped that nothing would've changed and Sakura would welcome him home the same way. Stupid, he knew, but nonetheless… Maybe opening up a little won't do any harm? But mission first, that was sure.  
Four days later they reached their designated place and looked for a place where they could safely hide.  
"I think this place will suit." Honoka said as she looked around in a cave.  
"You think so?" Lee asked silently with a raised brow.  
"Lee." She laughed. "I was forced to hide my whole childhood, trust me, this place is perfect."  
"If you say so." He grinned back and put his backpack aside. "It has been too long since we were on mission together. I'm sorry, I didn't plan to …"  
"It's ok, really." She smiled again. "And yes, it had been a long time. Five years."

Sasuke watched them curiously, and couldn't help that her lovely way remembered him on his own mother. He felt a little sting and frowned shortly, not long enough for Lee to notice, but she caught a glimpse. She shortly looked questioning at him, but decided that it wasn't the right time and place to ask him what's up.  
"I'm back in a while. Don't rip your heads guys." She said and disappeared.  
A few hours later she came back, frowning and locked in her thoughts. She pulled a notebook out of her backpack and started scribbling down a card of what she had seen.  
"They keep the hostage here." She said, pointing at a building a little set behind others.  
"How do you think we can get him out there?"  
"Easy. You'll play a little havoc outside on the yard, Sasuke and I will get in, kick the ones inside and then grab him and leave."  
"When will you start?"  
"Three days, first we need to find out more about the guards. I'd bet that I know already the half of them, but better be prepared."

Three days later:

"Ok, slightly change of Plan. Lee and me are going to play havoc, you go in and free that idiot."  
"Um, Honoka-san, do you think it'll work this way?"  
"Sasuke can handle the guards inside alone. There are only four inside."  
"But four against one…"  
"He can do it. We have twenty against two outside, would be better if you would worry about that." "Oh, that's not a problem." He grinned.  
"Yosh, so is everything cleared then?" Both nodded.  
"Well then, let's get started." And they left the cave, putting their backpacks in the forest they have to go through on their way back home.

"Keep it short and quick. I don't want to mess that much with these guys."  
"As you say." Lee grinned and Sasuke just nodded.  
"Ok, we have the order to eliminate the head of that bunch. Here's the pic, kill at sight, that's simply it."  
"Search and destroy." Sasuke mumbled.  


"Right." Honoka nodded. "I guess you don't have to look for him that hard. He's supposed to be with the host. Let's get started, I want to be home before fall."  
And they headed for the house where they kept the host, a little four year old girl.

Sasuke waited while Honoka and Lee were starting a little party to catch the focus of the guards outside the house, and were quite effective with it within a short while. He sped towards the house, slipping inside through an open window, quickly scanning the rooms around him. Since the basement was empty he went to the next floor, and finally found what he was looking for. He could sense chakra inside a room which was guarded from two men, obviously shinobi too. Without big exertion he knocked them out, due to the two thuds the person inside the room opened the door.  
"Hello sucker." Sasuke grinned, hitting him straight in the face. It was the man Honoka had shown on the photo. He grabbed him at the throat and just the moment he wanted to finish him off he caught the frightened eyes of the little girl.

With his Mangekyo Sharingan he knocked him out and let him fall down to the floor.  
"Everything's fine now. I'm here to bring you home." He told the kid, trying to smile a little. She just nodded, her eyes still wide with fear. After he had untied her he took her piggyback, grabbed the man and left the house. The others caught sight of him and disappeared together.  
Honoka looked at the man and then at Sasuke, raising one brow with curiosity but as he motioned at the girl she nodded and smiled. The next hours they kept high speed, Lee had grabbed the backpacks and they nearly flew the way back.

As they rested for the night the girl, her name was Maron, didn't let go of Sasuke. She ate a little, but still was too afraid to speak. Lee snored quite soon, shortly followed from the kid who had nuzzled herself up against the Uchiha, while the others were still awake. Well, more or less, since that other guy was still unconscious.  
"I couldn't kill him. She was watching."  
"You don't need to explain."  
"Not?"  
"No. You forget I have kids myself, I'd never want them to see something like that."  
"So you're not mad because I disobeyed an order?"  
"No. You did exactly what should've been done at this situation. Let Ibiki handle that guy. But I think there won't be any need." She knew only a little about what the Mangekyo was able to do, but since that man was out for the whole day she guessed it would take him a big amount of time to recover.

Two days later they reached the village hidden in the leaves. Maron had started talking the day before, was now sitting on Sasuke's shoulders and combing through his hair with her little fingers. She had caught him smiling three times, and was glad that Naruto had sent him on that mission. As they had dropped that man at the ANBU's she went home, Lee went to his training ground and Sasuke brought Maron back home to her parents. He felt a little sad to let her go, he really liked that little girl, but as he saw how happy the whole family was to have her back he smiled inwardly. He saw the grateful look in the eyes of her father as he nodded him thanks as he left and gave him a curt nod as reply. He decided to go home and catch some Z's.

As he reached his family's district he sensed a presence there and sneaked back to his house. He thought that now he would like to trade the Sharingan for the Byakugan, but from the sounds he could tell that there was someone in the garden, working. He jumped on the nearby roof and caught glimpse of something pink disappearing. He thought about tracking for a second, but then decided against. From the scent he could still smell he knew that it had been Sakura. No other person would feel the need to come here, and he knew no one else with pink hair. And the scent was definitely hers. Now he really smiled, he was surprised as he came back home to find the garden in perfect order, like his mother had always made it. Somehow touching, even if he wouldn't admit it, not even under torture. So she still cared. But the most shocking for him was: he cared.

Confused he entered the house, deciding that a hot shower would be the best now. After that he dropped on the couch, looking out of the window, lost in his thoughts. What was he expecting from her? She had told him that she loved him, she was ready to follow him, but she acted so cold as she saw him the first time. But all the years she had kept the garden in order and still did it now. The questions of the 'what' and 'why' were spinning in his head, nearly causing him a fully grown headache. And without he really thought about it some other things came to his mind. He never had forgotten her or the rest of the team. He never had attacked her, at least not with the force like against others; he was following them on the last mission, sensing the trap from the very first moment. He knocked the shinobi out who had trapped them; he had brought them their backpacks. Was he really caring for her that much? And while he was thinking this question, he already knew the answer: Yes.

He knew he could fight to get one kind of satisfaction. He could proof how good he was, he knew that Naruto was still his friend, so he wasn't completely alone either, but there was always something missing. Even when he had his own platoon and had people around him all the time he was alone. He still could feel the loneliness now, and he knew that it was love he was missing. The short time on the mission with Kakashi's wife had reminded him how motherly love felt, but it was a different thing. The fact that Sakura would've followed, would've left the village, her friends, her family and her future, just to be with him hit him with a force he never had imagined. Naruto always had been right; he was a bastard, and an idiotic one. He knew how rejection felt, Itachi had done that with him quite often, and for Sakura it must have been even harder.

Sasuke stood up and walked around in the empty house, and as he had reached his old room a ray of sunlight was falling on the picture of squad seven. He went nearer and took it in his hands. Naruto's pouting face was just hilarious; his own face somehow hit him. Was he really looking this cold all the time? He shook his head; he didn't want to think about that too much. Kakashi was smiling; at least it was looking like that. Sakura did too, she looked quite happy. He knew that it was because of him, but what he recognised now was that her eyes looked alive. As he had seen her in the street back then, before she turned to leave, her eyes looked dead.  
"Oh man, what have I done?" he groaned, and put the photo aside. He thought that he only had ruined his life, but now he recognised that he had done the same to her.


	9. Chapter 9

As he got up the next morning, he decided that he had to do something useful, so he went to the academy, asking Iruka if he could help him.  
"What?" the Chunin was quite surprised as Sasuke had asked him.  
"I just wanted to know if I can help you with something, shuriken training or stuff." He mumbled, hardly fighting back a blush.  
"Um, of course you can." Iruka was smiling now. "I can't supervise all of them, so I'd appreciate your help."  
"Hn." He nodded, relieved that this was settled. He knew that his long way of being accepted and respected again had just started, and it would take quite a while until he could have back something near his old stance.

But he finally had a daily course and didn't feel that useless anymore. In the mornings he helped Iruka at the academy with every practical training and in the afternoons he worked in his family's district to get the houses back in order. After three weeks he had a little conversation with Naruto about the houses he had renovated until then.  
"There are so many of them, they're all empty. It's sort of sad to see them falling apart."  
"So what? Are you offering them or what?"  
"Sort of. Don't you need any houses? Offices, shops or stuff?"  
"Well, we could need a bigger library. And another jail. You can't put normal little thieves in a high-security-prison like the one we have for shinobi."  
"You could use the old police station we have there. I have already removed the Uchiha logo and replaced it with Konoha's symbol."

"What's wrong with you?" Naruto looked at him suspiciously.  
"Nothing, why do you ask?"  
"Well, Iruka-sensei told me that you're helping him at school, not to mention that Kimiko and Kichiro have told me the same. The weird part is they actually like you, and now you're offering me to use your family's district for the whole village?"  
"Let's just say Kakashi's wife had enlightened me in a way and leave it at that."  
"Wow. I always knew that Honoka rocks, but I'd never imagined…"  
"Naruto, you're drifting off topic." He reminded him, in his typically Sasuke-tune.  
"Oh, sorry." The blonde grinned. "But we can't take the whole district."  
"I haven't said that. I want the northern part for myself. With my parents' house, the shrine, the training ground and the five houses around. For the rest you can look for another use."  
"Why all of the sudden?"  
"I've realised that one person who was precious to me, even though I never realised as long as this person was alive, tried to protect the good name of my family. Leaving this houses to rot away wouldn't be a nice way to treat the intentions. Let's say I want to restore the good reputation and get rid of all the dark things that had accumulated with the years."  
"Way to go Sasuke, I'll do what I can."

As he returned home Honoka was standing in front of his house, waiting for him.  
"Hey." She smiled as he stood in front of her.  
"Hi." He greeted. "Can I help with something?"  
"Nope. I'm just here to give you something." She said, handing him over a little package.  
"And I have to thank you."  
"Why that?" he asked surprised as he had taken his present.  


"Since you're helping Iruka at the academy the twins calmed down a lot at home. They're simply exhausted when they come home. Thank you for that."  
"No problem." He stated, feeling good to know that he did a good job. "What's that?"  
"Nothing big. I just thought you might like it. See you around, got to go. Bye Sasuke."  
"Bye Honoka-san." She flinched.  
"Let that '-san', that makes me feel old."  
"Oh… ok then. Honoka."  
"Better. Bye." And with that she left.

In the living room as he sat down on the sofa he stared at the package in his hands and after a while he opened it. A letter was in there and a picture of him with his brother. They still were kids and both of them were smiling. He knew that photo; he had torn it to shreds years ago. As he read the letter he smiled. Honoka had Kakashi sniffing around in the record offices to find a good one. It had been pure luck to find exactly that one, reminding of the good times that had been. He looked again at the picture and smiled again, he really liked it and thanked inwardly both of them.

He hadn't met Sakura the last weeks, somehow it felt strange. It hadn't been that big problem when he was gone, but now that he was home again it felt odd. Naruto had done a good job; many of the houses were inhabited again. Some families, mostly those who just have moved into the village, were living there now, paying their rent to him. The old police station was now used as a second civil prison, as Naruto called it. Two other houses were used as libraries now, even one pub and two stores could be found there now. Finally life returned back to a long dead place.

One week before Naruto's birthday he was sitting with him in a bar.  
"I never thought that there would be that much life again in such a short amount of time. It really had been a good idea."  
"Most of my ideas are good." Sasuke stated, ordering another beer.  
"I won't answer that now, mate." Naruto grinned. "But I have to admit this one was great."  
"See? Not only the hokage can have good ideas." He teased.  
"Yo, buster, slow down. I really have problems with your new attitude."  
"What should I answer you on that one?"  
"Jeez, that one's yours. You have it harder." He grinned, ordering a beer too.  
"But honestly man, what made you change your mind?"

Sasuke focused his beer and frowned, thinking about what he should say.  
"Well, I figured it couldn't go on like that." He finally said.  
"It took you quite long to figure that out."  
"Do you really think I'm that stupid? I figured that out pretty early, but it's not easy to admit that I had done many things wrong."  
"But you managed."  
"Yeah, with enough kicks. Do you really think you've been the only one? Family Hatake did their part brilliantly, even Shikamaru kicked me."  
"What? Are you kidding me?"  
"No."  
"Oh." Naruto was surprised now. Shikamaru never was one who talks much, too much of a drag.

"Um, Kakashi-sensei and I thought about a little squad-seven-revival-training…"  
"You did what? Haven't enough work to do as hokage, do you?"  
"Well, actually it was sensei's idea." The blonde grinned.  
"What's Sakura's opinion?"

"Um, honestly I haven't asked her yet."  
"Ask her and then ask me again."  
"Why?"  
"Because I think she's avoiding me. I don't want her to freak out." He mumbled.  
"Fearing her whacking too hard?"  
"She hasn't broken your head, so she wouldn't break mine, but better not pressing one's luck."  
"Wise words man." Naruto mumbled. "Wise words."

Sakura was sitting in a booth next to their table, together with Tenten and had eavesdropped the whole conversation.  
"He really has changed, huh?" Tenten stated.  
"I don't trust that." Sakura mumbled. Her inner self nearly flipping, dancing around and chanting.  
"What about that training? Do you intent to go?"  
"Should I?"  
"Why not? You finally could kick his butt for leaving, and it even would be official." Tenten grinned.  
"Sounds interesting." Sakura grinned back.

Later that evening as she was lying in her bed she thought about the last weeks. It wasn't a secret that Sasuke was helping Iruka at the academy, and the students actually really liked him. The changes in the district have caught her off guard. She never thought that he would allow other ones to live there, but she could understand his intention behind that all. Leaving the houses empty meant too much dead and unused space in a village that was constantly growing. And some of the buildings like the library and the prison really were needed. The people didn't feel that uneasy around him anymore and had started greeting him again a while ago. Some still were looking for her reaction. The girls were still a little reserved around him, while the guys seemed to have accepted him back and in their circle.

A part of her wanted to have him, to touch him, to talk to him, but another part was still licking wounds. Wounds that wouldn't have been there if he wouldn't have left, if he wouldn't have stayed away that long. Years ago she had switched her control, years ago her heart was controlling, now she used her head. Her heart was shouting at her not to be stupid, to go for him now that he was back, but her head said no. She didn't want to get hurt again, so she listened to her head. The confidence she had for him was down, was gone. It took more than a few nice words and actions to gain that back. But no matter how hard her head tried to tell her that she should move on, her heart was strong enough to stop her from that.

* * *

Next one up. I thought that Sasuke had to change, and here we go.


	10. Chapter 10

And now follow the next two Chapters. I have to finish this story before I could start another one.

* * *

Naruto had asked her about that training two days later, as she had dropped some papers on his desk to sign them.  
"What do you think?"  
"Sounds funny." She stated, but didn't sound that amused at all.  
"You don't have to do that, you know."  
"I know." She said. "But nonetheless I think it could be fun. At least a little. I love it to see how Kakashi-sensei is still able to handle you." She grinned widely.  
"Oy! You just wait, I'll get him down! And afterwards you."  
"No chance Naruto. You're never able to kick me."  
"We'll see. How about Saturday afternoon?"  
"Anytime, anyplace." She stated. "Don't forget to sign these papers, I need them." and with that she left.

He went to tell Kakashi and Sasuke that evening before he went home.  
"How do you think things will turn out?" Hinata asked him after he had eaten and was helping her with the dishes.  
"I don't know. I think she still has feelings for him, even if they're buried quite deep. And I think that he somehow returned because of her, even if he wouldn't admit that."  
"He has changed a lot." She stated, looking at him with a smile.  
"Yeah, he has. And that's good. The old Sasuke wouldn't stand a chance here."  
"None of you would stand a chance now, if you all would still be the same."  
"You're right." He grinned, kissing her on the forehead. "When he's with the rest of us he's still the old cold, and I don't think that this'll change, and there's no need to at all."  
"Maybe it's better." She stated. "A Sasuke who turns out to be that emotional near the water like Lee would knock you all out. And freaking like Kiba or being lazy like Shikamaru isn't an option either. I guess it's completely ok if he stays that way."  
"Right." Naruto grinned.

Saturday arrived faster as they had imagined, and they met at the bridge like in the early days.  
"Brushed your teeth and changed your underwear?" Sasuke asked Naruto as he arrived.  
"Blow-dried your hair?" Naruto asked Sakura.  
"Are they already driving you nuts?" Kakashi asked Sasuke.  
"You're on time?!" they all called out, and then started laughing. Sasuke allowed himself a grin.  
"First me against you!" Naruto grinned at Kakashi.  
"I was afraid you'd say that. Some things never change." The copy nin grinned.  
"What? Have you expected me to change?"  
"No one ever expects you to do that." Was the answer he got.

As they arrived their old training grounds they all sighed. How many memories where bound to this place…  
"Now I'll make your weird haircut even weirder." Naruto grinned widely.  
"I know, fair and square. Get started, you screw up." Kakashi teased him.  
"I'll get you for that." The blonde laughed. "If not today, then on your next mission."  
"So far for the fair-part." The silver haired sighed. After half an hour he had his victory about his former student, again with his book in his hand.  
"I told you he'll kick your butt." Sakura grinned as Naruto let himself fall down into the grass next to her.  


"I know." He grumbled. "I thought you're already OLD sensei." He teased.  
"Not old enough as you see." He laughed. "But it seems like you're rusting. Even a hokage should train."  
"I had no one to spar with." He shot back.  
"So Yamato and me are no one?"  
"Hmpf." He replied. "I think that's now Sakura vs. Sasuke."

Both of them looked at the blonde, slightly shocked as he found, but then they stood up and took their places without any words. They stood there, simply staring at each other, for a few minutes.  
"Why don't you start?" Sakura asked him after a while, her voice strangely cold.  
"I'll let you the chance to strike first." He replied.  
"Out of mercy, huh?"  
"No."  
"Don't you dare thinking that I'm not able to beat you."  
"I don't think anything in that direction." He tried to stay calm, her voice and the words hit him.  
"You snob." She hissed and finally attacked.

Naruto and Kakashi decided to back off a little, the feelings both of them were airing letting them imagine that this fight could become hard.

Sakura came with nearly full force, a hit that would've been a hard blow if he would've caught it. He only moved, he didn't say anything nor made any noises. Somehow that freaked her out and she became really angry. All these years he had played that cold hearted, that emotionless and she was sick of it. So fed up with that. She put all the upwelling feelings in her attacks, sometimes making it more than just hard for him to dodge them. He caught some hits and learned quickly that he don't want her to hit him really hard.

The other two decided that ramen would be much healthier than staying here. They could return later, picking up the pieces that were left. Too much danger in the range of them.

"Are you intending on killing me?" he asked her after a while.  
"Why should you bother?" she barked. "You've never cared what others around think."  
"That's not true." He stated calm.  
"You and your attitude." She hissed.  
"What attitude?" he asked back, now getting angry as well.  
"You think that you're better than everyone around you."  
"I don't." he pressed out, fighting to calm down.  
"Oh yeah? Sorry, I haven't recognised! What are you planning? Coming home after years! And now playing mister nice guy or what?"  
"I don't play!" he shouted, dodging another blow.

That answer stunned her, and she stopped dead in motion. She was angry, angry at him, at Naruto and Kakashi for putting up that fight and angry at herself for that lack of self-control she was so used to.  
"You're the one who's acting strange now." He stated and she did something he never expected, she slapped him. A simple slap, not even with half hearted power, with no power at all. And then she started crying.  
"Don't you dare… You left us, even though we tried everything to be there for you. You always acted 

like we were nothing, nothing but obstacles in your way. Obstacles you have to overcome. And you did it, you put us aside and left without wasting one thought. You simply moved on and never looked back, back at those who were there for you. And if that wouldn't be enough! You tried to kill your best friend, maybe the only true friend you ever had, without one moment of hesitation."

He just stood there and looked at her.  
"And now you do it again. You don't show any emotion at all! You act that stoic like always. What do you plan? Why do you put up such a big show? Wasn't hurting all your friends once enough for you? Couldn't you just let us be? Things have been fine here without you!"  
He still remained silent. It hurt him what she said, more shouted at him, and he knew that he deserved it.  
"God damn it! Say something!"  
"What should I say? Of which use would it be?" He asked her silently. "No matter what I will say, you won't believe anything. The fix picture you have in your mind stays. So why should I say anything?"

"Are you really that cold hearted?" she asked. "Do you really care so less? There are so many wounds you left behind, so many things that couldn't be changed that easily, things you couldn't wipe out by just being nice for a few days. Have you ever thought what would happen? Naruto had loads of trouble. Trouble with Tsunade-shisho, with Jiraiya, with the Goikenban. You were a missing-nin, normally they would've added your name into the bingo-book, but Naruto fought for you so they won't. He went out for you, over and over again. He hadn't put you into prison as it would've been with everyone else, he didn't even put you under ANBU watch."

She sobbed and brushed away the tears with the back of her hand.  
"All the time you didn't bother to come home, you didn't care what was going on here. And now you return all of the sudden and everything should be back to normal. But that's impossible, completely impossible. Questions over questions, that's the only thing you left behind. Things we wondered about but never found an answer. And the biggest question of all is why."  
"Are you ready now with lecturing me?" He asked her. "You're not only upset because of that, you're angry at me because I left you, right?"  
She gasped and he caught her hand just before she could slap him again.  
"Why do you think, or for who do you think, I've returned?" he asked, let go of her hand and left.


	11. Chapter 11

On his way home he walked past Ichiraku's, finding Naruto and Kakashi there.  
"Hey Sasuke! Who won?" Naruto grinned.  
"I guess Sakura." He just stated and continued his way.  
"What had happened?"  
"Nothing."  
"Naruto, let go. I don't think that's our business." Kakashi stated and looked how Sasuke walked down the street. He looked beaten up, but more psychically then physically.  
"Man, Sakura really got to him." Naruto mumbled, as if he had read his former sensei's thoughts.  
"So it seems."

At home Sasuke dropped down on the couch. Now she had told him how hard she had suffered, even if she only talked about the others and the village. He would bet everything he has including his life that she would've shouted at him that he had left _**her**_, that he had hurt _**her**_and that the village was more than just second to that. Who would blame her? No one. He knew that she was right, and he knew that he would've deserved more than just a slap for his actions in the past. He knew that he was lucky that Naruto was that nice to him and had spared him all that stuff she had mentioned. He knew that he wouldn't have given a damn on that talk if it wouldn't have been Sakura but someone else. He wanted her to shout at him, he wanted her to be mad at him, at least that was a reaction towards him. But more than all, he wanted her to forgive him. He shouldn't have been that rude to her, he should've told her what he had said in another way.

Sakura still stood where he had left her, feeling weird. Somehow she felt relieved that she had shouted at him, that she had kicked him, that she had told him what was pissing her off, but somehow she was frustrated as well. He stood there, cold as stone, listening to everything she said but showed not one single emotion. He hadn't even flinched as she had slapped him, he simply had taken it. And then his statement…  
Could it really be that he felt something? Something for her? She sighed. She knew that she had to talk to him, she even felt the strange urge to apologise for shouting at him. The only feelings she always had were loneliness and emptiness. She was hurt because he had left, but not because he had left the village, he had left her. That was what had hurt. Why hadn't she just said it that way? She had told him that she loved him, so that shouldn't have been a big deal at all.

She walked around in the village, just to do something. Her feet carried her to his district, like always and after a while she was standing right in front of his door and before thinking she had knocked. She stood there, quite a while, but since nothing happened she turned around again.  
"What do you want? More shouting or slapping me again?" he asked silently behind her. It nearly made her jump.  
"No." she mumbled. "I don't… I mean…" she started, feeling so stupid.  
"What is it then?" he asked her, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"I… I wanted to apologise." She said.  
"Why?"  
"I shouldn't have shouted."  
"I guess I deserved it." He said, surprising her completely now.  
"What?"  
"I said I guess I deserved it."

"Wha…?" she looked confused. "What happened to you? I can't recognise…"  
"I'm older and a little wiser, that happened. I've recognised what I denied to see all these years ago. I belong here, this is my home, the place I should be, the place I never should've left."  
"Why now? All those years we tried…"  
"I had to learn it myself. And I have learned it. And I'm sorry."  
She raised a brow and looked at him, unbelievingly.  
"Sorry? For what?"  
"For leaving you."  
"Huh?" she was too stunned to say something.  
"You told me that you'd follow me if I'd asked you to. I know that I have hurt you with what I've done."

She struggled and nearly fell, but didn't take his hand as he offered her. He sighed and continued.  
"I have never forgotten you all, no matter how hard I tried. Every now and then the picture of you all appeared in my mind, mostly at times when I couldn't need it. I had your words always in my ears; I tried to fight them, to get rid of them, but I couldn't. And with the time I understood what I had done, why that all was confusing me. I came back to Konoha randomly, but I never had been able to enter. I feared what you would say, what you would do. Naruto told me how you were acting when we met on missions, and I was worried. Every time you left the village I had to follow you, to see you, to see that you're ok. At the beginning I didn't know why, but I was sort of worried. Than as you and Kakashi got trapped on that last mission you've been on I had to do something."  
"That shadow… that had been you?" she asked, her voice just a mere whisper.  
"Yes, that had been me. I tried to figure out why I was doing this, but I couldn't."

"As we met in the street, the way you looked at me and the way I felt afterwards nearly freaked me out. You of all people have been the one who always cared most, and then that icy look. I was thinking about that all, I even was thinking about leaving again, but I couldn't. It would be weak, it would be running away again, and I had to stay. I came back because of you, I wanted to figure out why your voice, your words haunted me the most. And I figured it out and it hit me hard. I'm sorry that I've hurt you that much, I could kick myself for being such an idiot."  
"You… I can't believe… that's… that's… too much." She whispered and started to turn round to leave. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back and then he kissed her.

"I know I was an idiot, I know that I deserve more than just a slap and being shouted at. I know that I'm not in the position to ask something from you, but nonetheless I have to. Please Sakura, please forgive me for being such an selfish idiotic bastard."  
"I… I'm… I'm afraid… I… I… I can't." she sobbed.  
"Please. I know what I'm asking from you. But I promise you, I swear if you want me to, I'll never, never ever hurt you again."  
"Let go." She whispered, freeing herself from his hold. "I need time."  
"Sakura…"  
"Sasuke… please…" and he let her go. He wanted to give her all the time she needed, everything she needed, if it would help. Without any more words she left him, standing in front of his door and feeling more alone than all the years before.

She went home, not even knowing how she got there, her feet led the way like before. That was much, too much. She had been angry at him, nearly mad and pissed, but now? He had poured out his heart, at least it seemed like that, but could she believe him? The voice in her head was calling her all names she could think about, but her heart was shouting against. She was confused, more than ever, but she knew that she had to figure this out alone. No one could help her with the decisions she has to made.  
All those years she had hoped for him to come back, she had whished that he felt something for her, and now he had told her that he had just returned because of her.

As she entered her apartment she walked into the kitchen and sat down at the windowsill, looking out of the window and over the village. What could she believe? Could she risk it to trust him again or would he hurt her again? Her heart was bouncing, chanting happily. He had kissed her, she always dreamed about that and now he had done it. Gentle and true, her heart was telling her to trust, to give him another chance, but her head shouted against it. She nearly died once, she feared going through such a hell again. She had mastered it, she thought.  
But who was she fooling? She knew that they all were right. She knew that she buried herself in work so she would be too busy to think about him, she knew that she avoided parties and stuff so she won't be reminded how much she was missing him.

She even was missing him now. She wanted him next to her, feeling his warm body, feeling his heartbeat and hearing his breath, just to make sure that he was real. That he was there and not just imagined, but she feared it. She shook her head, tried to get a clear thought, but it was impossible. It felt like two spirits were fighting inside her, one pro-Sasuke and one contra-Sasuke. What should she do? She skipped dinner and went to have a shower. Half an hour she stood under the hot water, normally it helped her clearing her mind, but today it seemed to fail. She went to bed, knowing that this night she won't be able to find any sleep, that she wouldn't be able to block the thoughts about him out, to push his voice and his words in the dark part of her head, her own land of forgetting.

Sasuke lay on his couch again, he wasn't sure if it had been right or good to tell her that all. But somehow he had to try to make her understand him, to open herself a little up again so she could see how he now was. He could understand her and her worries, that she feared that he could just kid and toy with her. He knew that he won't leave again, but he knew that he had kicked her wherever he could in the past, so her worries had their right to exist. He swore himself that he won't push her, that he would wait what she would do. If she would decide to come to him, he would welcome her, but if she decided against… Quickly he pushed this thought out of his head, the last thing he wanted to think about was that. He sighed, another night without sleep and rest.

* * *

It seems that no one really likes this story, and it makes me a little sad. I knew I've written better ones... but I haven't expected it to be that bad. And no one said anything... :'(  
But stubborn as I am I'll finish it.


End file.
